The Season Of Us
by manda600
Summary: Barney and Robin have finally found their way back to each other and are ready to start a life together. Future set story with some loose references to Season 8 spoilers.
1. Rose Petals

**AN**: It's been a little difficult to write a future set B/R fic because of my strict adherence to canon (it's just my own pet peeve to never directly deviate from it). It's almost impossible to do that because of the incredibly unfinished nature of the show right now. Basically nothing has been resolved or remotely dealt with between Barney and Robin since last November. I had really hoped that the show would be farther along in their story development by this point than what they are. As it is, it's very hard to navigate a future story without any clue when or how they'll get back together, and what things (if any) will be finally discussed between them. Nevertheless, I really wanted to start things out by having them clear the air and talk about some of these issues and miscommunications that have held them back over – you know, that adult conversation we've all been waiting months to see them have. So I'm just going to make some assumptions here about how things will go, without getting into certain aspects too deeply.

All of that said, this story then picks up sometime in November. The way I imagine it, Robin went to Barney to tell him how she felt the night before (I'm leaving how they got to that place open) and the two of them had a mini-discussion about his relationship and eventual engagement to Quinn and why Robin never said anything all that time and in fact dated another man instead (I didn't want to get into that too much simply because I'm waiting to see how, and if, the show will deal with that themselves, in which case having them discuss it again would be redundant). That evolved into Barney and Robin (finally) exchanging 'I love yous' etc. followed by much celebrating in the way they do best, but they still have things left that need to be told and dealt with.

* * *

**Rose Petals**

It's hard for either one of them to believe they're not dreaming when Barney and Robin find themselves in his kitchen, smiling at each other over bacon and eggs. They've just spent their first night together in a year, their first night officially back together as a couple in three years. Not surprisingly for the two of them, very little sleep was involved.

They've managed to shower and dress but it's still a casual, cozy morning after scene – and, ironically, the two former commitment-phobics wouldn't have it any other way. Robin is barefoot, her heeled boots waiting beside the bed where they left them the night before, and her makeup has yet to be done. Barney's suit coat is in the living room, slung across the back of the couch to prevent wrinkling.

Finishing her coffee, Robin gets up and crosses the small room to put her now empty plate in the sink. A moment later, she feels Barney's hands at her hips, gently drawing her back against him.

"Call in sick to work," he asks, bending to nuzzle her neck. "Stay here with me."

It's with real regret she answers, "I wish I could, but I can't." His hands slip beneath the hem of her blouse to slide across her belly, his forefinger circling and then dipping into her navel and slowly back out. In and out. In and out. "Hmm, maybe one more hour." She reaches around to set her hand to the nape of his neck, her fingers tunneling up into his hair.

"Maybe all day," he counters, nibbling at her ear.

"I really can't," she sighs. "I have to read the news, afternoon and evening. We both have to go to work eventually. As tempting as it sounds, we can't stay holed up here forever."

He rests his chin on her shoulder. "I know, I know. Just…."

Robin hears something in his tone that sounds like worry or maybe even sadness, and she turns to look at him. "What?" she asks softly, her hands settling on his shoulders. "What is it?"

"Just…." Barney averts his eyes from hers and now she knows it's serious. "…don't change your mind."

She gives him a look of confused concern. She can see he's uneasy about something but she genuinely has no idea what he means.

He sighs heavily before further clarifying, "After you leave, don't change your mind about us."

"Is that what you think?" Robin asks, her words barely above a whisper. "That the minute we're apart I'm going to change my mind?" Her heart breaks a little hearing that, all the more so as she comes to the harsh realization that he has good reason to believe it. She's pushed him away time and time again. She stayed with Kevin when she should have gone to him instead, and even after Barney's broken engagement she's spent the past months dating another man. She knows she's given Barney every reason to fear her running away yet again, and that tears her apart. "I'm sorry I ever made you think that." She pulls him in and kisses him softly. "I'm never changing my mind about us, Barney. Ever. I promise."

He nods wordlessly and she reaches up and kisses him a second time because she's not so sure he entirely believes her.

"I'll be tied up all afternoon – and not in a fun way," she adds when she sees the spark of interest in his eye and knows exactly what he's thinking. He frowns at her and she laughs. "Maybe we can do the fun way tonight."

He perks up at that. "Alright," he concedes with exaggerated disappointment. "I guess I'll let you go."

"No, don't ever do that." She kisses him again, and this time they both linger. When they finally break away, she rests her forehead against his. "I'm on the air from six to seven, but I'll call you when I'm out of work. We can meet up at MacLaren's."

"Okay," he agrees, kissing her one more time before starting to move away.

She pulls him back into her arms before he can get far. "I really do have an extra hour," she tells him, nipping at his lower lip.

Barney grins. "We should make good use of it then," he says, pressing her back against the counter.

* * *

It's after eight, and Barney is sitting at MacLaren's, drinking a scotch and missing Robin. True, it's only been eleven hours since he last saw her, but he's been craving her presence all day. It feels so good to be with her again, to just be able to say anything to her now – no more holding back – and touch her whenever he wants, look at her with the love that was always so hard to hide. Not to mention be intimate with her again. He's been with a lot of women over the years, some of them not so good, some of them great in bed. But none of them ever came close to what it's like being with Robin. With Robin, it's a connection on every possible level. There is nothing like it. But even after sex with her that lasted all night and into the morning, it's not even close to enough to make up for lost time.

The sudden ringing of his phone breaks Barney out of his thoughts. One look at the ID tells him it's just the person he wants to hear from. He answers quickly, not even bothering with a 'hello' but launching straight into, "I saw your broadcast."

"It was on at the bar?" Robin asks, clearly pleased.

"You're a big-time reporter now. I don't even have to make Carl turn it on anymore."

She laughs. "Idiot."

Even through the phone the sound of her laughter warms his heart and brings an automatic smile to his lips. "Are you on your way to MacLaren's?"

"No, I'm at home." He frowns at this, but she immediately adjoins, "Come meet me here." Her tone turns distinctly suggestive when she adds, "I've been waiting all day to see you. I hurried through that last segment like the building was on fire."

"I noticed," he answers, clearly amused.

"I have no professional integrity whatsoever, do I?"

"Hey, you already admitted on air years ago that you're a dirty, dirty girl."

Robin shakes her head, whether at herself or at him she isn't sure – probably at the both of them. "See what you do to me. But they'll be no hurrying tonight," she tells him, and that naughtiness creeps back into her voice. "I've had hours to come up with ideas. Last night was only just getting started."

She can hear the thud of his scotch glass hitting the table. "I'll be there in five minutes."

"That's impossible," she laughs.

"You forget, I'm the master of the possimpible."

"That you are. I'll be waiting."

"Not for long."

Barney pockets his phone and heads over to the bar where Ted's grabbing another beer. "Ted, I gotta go. Robin's out of work."

"Have fun, buddy."

Barney grins as he races towards the door, delighted in the knowledge that their friends know them well enough that no further explanation is necessary – that and he really is about to have a whole lot of fun.

* * *

It's not exactly five minutes later but still some sort of commuting record as Barney arrives at Robin's apartment building and hurries up to her floor.

He knocks and hears some shuffling, followed by her distant voice informing him that, "The door's unlocked."

Barney steps inside, locking the door behind him – because, yeah, they're going to want that locked for later. "Robin?" he calls.

"I'm in the bedroom."

He grins. "Even better."

He walks down the hallway and opens her bedroom door, still smiling the smile of a man who knows he's about to have amazing sex, and with the love of his life to boot. But the sight that meets his eyes on the other side of the door stops him in place.

It's a different bedroom, a different setup, but he knows immediately what she's trying to do as she stands there in nothing but abundant candlelight, next to her rose petal covered bed, wearing the same green dress she had on that fateful night last November.

Robin tries to read Barney's face, tries to gauge his expression as he stands frozen in the doorway. She's a little embarrassed, and even more concerned at his response. After all, this isn't just putting herself out there; it's bringing up a very dark time for them. Maybe she should have left well enough alone, but for the first time in her life she finds she can't.

"Ted told me about that night. I had no idea, Barney. I really didn't. And I know it's not quite the same – Marshall and Lily weren't exactly receptive to us taking over Marvin's nursery for the night – but….." This is the part where she finds it hard to meet his eye because she's afraid he won't play along. Maybe there's some bitterness in him still – completely deserved bitterness – for what she did, and didn't do, that night. Nevertheless, she soldiers on, if a little unsurely. ".…I want a do-over."

Barney opens his mouth to speak for the first time since discovering the scene that she's set for him, but he's honestly having a little trouble finding words. "Robin, I – "

"Just, please – don't say anything yet. I know we haven't really talked about everything that happened then….."

She pauses and he can see that she's anxious, on the verge of tears even. He takes a step into the room, a step toward her. "Robin, it's okay," he assures her. "We're past that now. I'm over it."

"But I'm not," she tells him. "I need you to know why. I need you to understand. Then you'll never again think I might change my mind about us."

Just like that, he realizes the reason for all this, and he almost regrets saying anything this morning and inadvertently making her feel badly. But he knows they both agreed to try the honesty route this time around: 'If you're feeling it, you've got to say it'. No more secrets. No more holding things inside. That's what made them fall apart before. That's what made them almost lose each other forever. This morning he was being honest with her, and she's being honest with him now. Robin needs him to know, so he needs to hear it.

"Okay," he agrees, his eyes open and encouraging.

Robin takes a deep, audible breath. "Well, I guess I should start with Nora – or maybe even a little before. I know now that, even after we broke up, I never stopped loving you. Don happened – "

She sees Barney brace himself a little against the name and she wonders why she never noticed that reaction before. At the time she thought he was just being a drunk idiot, but Barney really had been truly jealous, truly hurt by that relationship.

"He happened because I was trying to force myself to move on. He seemed like the anti-you. I thought that was what I needed. He seemed so serious about us and our relationship, and at that point I was convinced you never loved me. But he turned out to be the biggest jerk ever. It took me awhile to get over the bruise to my ego. I trusted someone I shouldn't have. I took a chance and I got burned. It was kind of like Simon all over again. That, and even my safety net failed; he didn't want me either. But sundressing up to prove to you I've still got it, that was my big turning point."

Barney smiles. "I do love you in a sundress."

"I know you did that on purpose. So thank you."

"You _did_ look super hot," he innocently replies.

"Still won't admit it, hmm?"

He shrugs slyly, as if he didn't do a thing.

Robin just smiles at him, but the love is clear in her eyes as she continues her story. "Then we really were friends again, closer than ever before. I found myself wanting to go to you all the time. When I had problems at work with Becki, I could have told anyone else, but I waited for you. I just wanted to tell _you_. And then later, when Ted made me feel like I wasn't good enough, like I just pushed every guy away with my independence, you were the one whose opinion I really trusted." She closes the remaining distance between them and takes his hand. "I learned that morning all over again that no one in the world can make me feel better than you can."

Barney smiles at that but doesn't say a word, doesn't want to interrupt her. He simply squeezes her hand softly and entwines their fingers.

"As time went on, I just kept gravitating towards you more and more. We were almost always together, laughing at each other jokes and flirting, and I found myself wanting to be with you again. I think a part of me realized it was only a matter of time before I ended up back in bed with you, and that frightened me. I couldn't let myself go there again, so I tried to push you to Nora. I told myself that if you were involved with someone else then I would just _have_ to get over you. But it didn't work that way at all." She shakes her head at her own stupidity. "All summer long, we just got closer. I wanted to be with you, Barney. Not just sleep with you, but really be with you again, the two of us together. That's why I brought it up that day last fall, in the cab, how I understood why Ted would want to get back together with Zoey. But, even so, I was still afraid we'd just break up again, like before. And then you said it would be a mistake – "

Here Barney can't resist interrupting. "I only said that because I thought that's how you felt."

"And I only agreed because I thought that's how _you_ felt. But watching you asking Nora out drove me crazy. I was going to tell you the truth at Punchy's wedding," she admits, and she can tell the revelation surprises him.

His face is full of confusion and he studies her with keen interest. "You were going to tell me you wanted to be with me way back at Punchy's wedding?" She nods. "When?"

"It was Lily's idea."

"Wait, Lily knew? Why didn't anyone tell _me_?" he asks, aghast.

Seeing his expression, she can't help the laughter in her voice as she answers, "I tried to. Well, I really didn't; I didn't mean to tell you at all. Lily figured it out, that I still had feelings for you. She said we have the kind of chemistry that just doesn't go away and that, whether you realized it or not, deep down you wanted to be with me."

"Lily said that?" Barney looks perplexed. "I thought she wanted to break us up."

Robin shrugs. "That was before, when she thought we weren't serious about each other. Now she knows we belong together." At that, he tugs her into his arms and she goes willing, smiling at the memory. "She said I should tell you one way or the other how I felt. Of course I thought that had to be the craziest thing she ever suggested. Actually _telling_ you? And no matter how I felt, the two of us trying again after what happened before just didn't make sense – and everything about _that_ scared me. My heart knew I wanted you, but my brain said it was a bad idea. So I was going to tell you that we couldn't ever be together."

"I thought you said you were going to tell me you _wanted_ us to be together?"

"I'm getting to that part, impatient," she teases.

"Okay, sorry," he says, miming a zipper over his lips.

"I was going to tell you that we couldn't be together, but then we started dancing. It took me all of twenty seconds to realize I was in love with you and it was stupid trying to fight it. By the time we finished dancing, I wanted to kiss you. By the time my feet were back on the ground, I was ready to go upstairs with you. But I was going to tell you how I felt first. I even started to. And then Nora called."

Barney's face clouds over and she can tell he's looking back, remembering. His eyes fall closed heavily. "And then I asked you to help me win her over." When he opens his eyes again they're filled with such anguish she can't resist the impulse to run comforting fingers through the hair at his temples. "Robin, I had no idea. I thought you were done with me. I really believed it."

"I know. I know that _now_. It didn't feel that way at the time, though. It felt like you were choosing her over me. But all the things I said to you, for you to tell her…."

"You meant it." Realization dawns as he thinks back over her words. _I know we didn't work out the first time. And I know it doesn't make any sense. But I can't shake the feeling that we belong together. Is there any part of you that wants to try again?_ "That's what _you_ wanted to say to me, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"God, Robin, if I had – "

"It's okay. I know you didn't realize. But it destroyed me, watching you dating her, watching you try so hard with Nora in a way I never thought you tried or even cared with me."

He puts his hand to her neck, tips her chin up with his thumb to make sure she's looking him in the eye, to make sure she understands now what she failed to before. "Robin, I always loved you more. With Nora it was easy to make those superficial gestures because I never felt for her even close to the way I feel about you."

"You really mean that?"

He still can't quite believe the hesitancy in her voice because to him it always seemed so obvious. He thought surely she must know it too. "_Of course_ I mean it."

Robin pauses, almost too afraid to ask this next part, terrified of what the answer will be. "And Quinn?"

Now both his hands come up to cup her face. "Baby, I love you more than anything or anyone. Ever."

A huge smile breaks out on her face. "You called me 'baby'."

Of all the things he just said, that is what she picks out. It's such a Robin thing to do that a ghost of a smile tips up the corner of his mouth. "You don't like it?"

"No. I do. Weirdly, I do." The once massive hurdle of a pet name cleared surprisingly easily, Robin returns to the main point. "You really love me more than you've ever loved anyone?"

"Easily," Barney nods.

Defying the laws of physics, somehow Robin's smile gets even bigger. "You love me the most."

The knowledge makes her so clearly happy that he doesn't even find it remotely difficult to repeat the words that once lodged so firmly in his throat. "I love you the most," he confirms.

"God, that feels good to hear," she exclaims on a sigh. "But I couldn't see it that way then. I was sure you were in love with Nora. You were serenading her and showing her all this attention, and it was literally making me crazy. I was reduced to crying underneath my desk….and under the booth at MacLaren's."

Barney gapes at her in utter shock, as if the words don't quite compute. "_You_ were crying – actually crying – in public?" Showing vulnerability was such a rarity for Robin, and other than a handful of select exceptions – like the night of the Simon incident and Marshall's father's funeral – he'd never known her to shed tears where others could see.

"Oh, it gets so much worse. Do you remember when Nora went to France on assignment?"

"Yeah?"

"I was the one who suggested she go. And then when I agreed to help you get rid of all yours plays and you thought I was being such a good friend? I wasn't," she confesses. "I just wanted to spend time with you. With everything that almost happened with us over the summer, I thought that if I could get you alone – and this time I was actually _trying_ – then something would definitely happen between us." He looks down at her as he digests this new information but his expression is carefully blank, and so she clarifies, "I was trying to steal you back, Barney."

A massive, cheeky grin slowly overtakes his face. "Why, Robin Scherbatsky, you little minx."

"Nothing happened though," she says with chagrin. "You were a perfect gentleman. Imagine that."

"If I had known that's what you were thinking, nothing would have stopped me from making a move on you." She makes a little sound of interest somewhere deep in her throat and he inches closer. "I would have had you naked so fast you wouldn't know what hit you – or actually you would, cause it would have been me, hittin' that over and over again all night long."

Robin laughs, rolling her eyes. "I don't know about that. You were being a good boyfriend."

"But if I'd known you were really an option, nothing else would have mattered. I would have come running. Robin, I don't think you realize what you do to me."

"What do I do to you, Barney?" she whispers, and she's biting her lip, with that look in her eye.

"Every time I'm near you, it's all I can do to keep my hands off you. It's so hard – _yeah it is_ – to stop myself."

She gives him a sexy little smirk. "Well, if that's the case, then you're gonna love what I've got on under this."

His eyes turn smoky as they gaze down at her body. He pulls her all the way against him now, his mouth a breath away from hers. "Mmm, don't distract me yet. You say things like that and I can't think straight. But I want to hear the rest."

"Okay," she agrees, drawing back away enough to be out of the immediate danger zone. "By that point, I was getting desperate. That night at MacLaren's, I knew it was my last chance to make you want me, so I suggested we go out together."

Barney's face lights up and his mouth falls open. "I thought that was strange! You wanted us to wear slutty clothes and get drunk together, and I thought _Robin's hitting on me_. But I knew better than to believe it. I thought I was just imagining things, seeing something there because I wanted it to be."

"No. No, I was definitely hitting on you," Robin admits, her hands sliding down from his shoulders to his chest. "But then Nora came back early – which is what led to the crying under the booth at MacLaren's incident. But, as it turns out, your little machine must not have worked right because some girl came in looking for you, wanting to hook up. And I…."

Here her hands slide away from him although, as does her gaze, and he can tell she's ashamed of whatever she's about to confess. When it seems as if she's not going to continue, he gently encourages, "You did what?", because he doesn't want her to stop. She's opening up to him. She's telling him messy emotional things, something she absolutely hates to do, but it's illuminating a period of time when he had no idea what she was thinking – and all of his guesses are turning out to be wrong. He's begun to see that's been their biggest problem all along; they just misunderstood what the other was feeling. Lily was right; they should have talked these things out long ago, but late is better than never. "What happened after that?" he prompts.

"I kind of told her where she could find you. I was hoping she'd cause a scene, or tempt you, or somehow break you and Nora up. That was all I cared about. You hooking up with bimbos from the bar didn't bother me – " She has to stop herself because that's not entirely true. She hated watching him run plays on women after they broke out, and even more recently than that it still hurt her to see. "Okay, it didn't bother me _as much_ because I knew that didn't mean anything to you. Nora was different. So I sent that woman to stop you. I even unbuttoned her blouse, slutted her up a little for you."

When Robin dares to meet his eye again, it's actually pride rather than disappointment that she sees reflected on his face. "See, _you_ read my blog."

She laughs. "I'll admit I do. But…you're not mad?"

"No, I'm not mad," he says as if it's the most ridiculous thing she's ever said. And to prove as much he draws her back into his arms. "No one ever showed up at the restaurant, though."

"That's because I stopped her. At the last minute I couldn't go through with it. I knew if I loved you then I had to let you be happy, even if it wasn't with me. So I went there to stop the girl before she messed up your date. Only she wouldn't be stopped. It got real ugly from there."

"I'm sure it did, Canada," he says, affection clear in his tone.

"I couldn't let her do anything to hurt you." She whispers the next part in a rush. "So I ended up having to fight her."

Barney's eyebrows rise. "I'm sorry, you what? You had to do what?" he teases.

Robin knows full well that he heard her; he only just wants her to repeat it. When she does, the smile on her face perfectly matches his. "_Yes_, I had to fight her. But not for fun – this time." Barney nods, but he's grinning. "Then I got arrested for assault. That was definitely a low point, seeing you through the window with Nora as the police handcuffed me." She sighs heavily, still haunted by the pain of that memory. "And that's how I met Kevin. I was sentenced to court ordered therapy and he was assigned to my case."

Barney's quiet for a moment, just gazing at her silently. "You attacked a woman for me," he finally says.

It may not have been her proudest moment, but she nods. "Yeah."

Robin can see the smile start in his eyes before it even reaches his lips. "Wow. You really do love me, don't you?"

"_Yes, _I do," she laughs, her arms going up to loop loosely around his neck. "In these past weeks before we got together, while I was still trying to figure it out, I tried to think of a time when I didn't love you, but I couldn't. I didn't realize it then but, looking back, it was always just….there. Even years ago at Lily's bridal shower, when I bought that sexy lingerie, the first person – the only person – I wanted to show was you. I wanted you to be proud of how racy and daring I was. And over the years, I constantly wanted to run off and do wild and crazy things with you. I may not have showed it, but it was always the highlight of my day, being with you."

"We have had some times together, haven't we, Scherbatsky?"

"_Legendary_ times," Robin agrees. She leans in to touch her lips to his softly, lightly, but she can feel the power of it threatening to explode and carry them both along on the tide if she lingers even a moment longer. So she pulls back, steps completely out of his arms, murmuring, "Not yet".

He chuckles softly because he can tell she's saying it more to herself than to him. "Back to the story. I want to hear it all," he assures her, "but I'm gonna be honest, I can't wait much longer."

"Neither can I." They share a look then and she knows he feels it too. They're a second away from throwing themselves at each other. She's about to give in and just do it, but she remembers this was for a reason, a good one. They still need to clear the air. They need to better understand each other and where they went wrong this past year.

She takes a deep breath, runs her hand through her hair, and moves another step back away from him for safety's sake.

Barney laughs. "That won't work," he warns.

"I know," she frowns. "Maybe we should have done this over the phone."

"No, no, go on. I'll be good."

He's got that genuine Barney look, that soft smile he saves only for her, and she knows he means it – or at least he'll try. Of course they're getting to the sobering part of their story so she figures it probably won't be that difficult. She doesn't want to go on and uncover this wound, not when things are going so perfectly between them. But she knows she has to. It's the only way it will ever truly heal.

"Barney, everything that happened with Kevin after that was just me trying to cope….And then we shared that cab ride. I brought up what happened in the hurricane on purpose, you know." She can see this surprises him, but he doesn't say anything, just waits for her to finish. "I–I didn't plan to sleep with you, but I was fishing. I was hoping for some kind of little sign that you might still have feelings for me. I tried seducing you before and that didn't work. I thought maybe I'd remind you that you once felt _something_ for me. But when I ended up cheating with you – something I always swore I'd never do – I felt like such a horrible person. Here I thought I'd finally put my feelings for you behind me. I thought I was doing such a good job of trying to move on and let you be happy. Then I messed everything up."

Barney can't resist interrupting here, if only to correct her skewed interpretation of that night. "Robin, I slept with you too. If you remember, I was quite willing."

"But that's just it; I didn't know what you felt for me. Up until that moment, I was so sure you were in love with Nora – you were going to meet her parents even. I thought you were completely over me. That's why that night was so confusing on so many levels. And when I asked you if our sleeping together meant something to you, you kept changing your answer, and then you finally just asked me which one _I_ wanted to hear. I thought it meant more to me then it did to you," she continues sadly. "And, really, it shouldn't have meant anything to either one of us, not when we were with other people. I could see you were upset about cheating on Nora, and I felt like – I don't know – like I'd driven you to it. I thought it would be best for both of us if we just pretended it never happened. You acted a little guilty, but it seemed like you wanted that too."

"I just wanted to go along with whatever you wanted." Barney's face is carefully even as he replies, but Robin's known him long enough and well enough to see the hurt that's still there beneath the surface that he's trying so carefully to hide.

She feels tears start to burn the backs of her eyes because now that she knows the truth – the full truth – she hates herself a little for what she did to him back then, how she broke him and delivered him straight into the arms of Quinn, how the blame for everything that's happened since falls squarely on her shoulders. No explanation is good enough, but he still deserves one.

"On the boat, when you started talking about the two of us getting back together, I didn't know what to think. It was totally out of left field, and I – " She stops short because she doesn't want to do or say anything to hurt him even more than she already has.

But he seems to read her mind. "It's okay," he nods. "Go ahead."

"I didn't know if I could trust it," she reluctantly admits. "I didn't want you _just_ to want me, because we were good in bed or maybe the fact that we'd just slept together brought up some kind of nostalgia for something that once was. That's why I asked you why you'd want to be with me. I wanted you to tell me you loved me. That's what I needed to hear – god, I needed to hear you say it so badly. But you didn't, and I – I just couldn't break up with Kevin that night." She takes his hand, looking deep into his eyes, making sure if he hears nothing else he hears this part. "I wasn't choosing him over you, and it wasn't that I didn't love you. I did, I do. I love you _too_ much. That's always been my problem. You said that we're both messes. We were, and that was scary. I was afraid if we got back together we'd only just fall apart again after a month, maybe two, when you lost interest or decided you'd made a mistake. Our first break up nearly killed me. I didn't think I could survive another one. Self-preservation kicked in. My first instinct was to run, and so I did."

Robin shakes her head, blows out a heavy breath and turns away, walking over to stand before the dresser, her gaze fixed steadily on a flickering candle, on the bead of wax sliding down the side of the burning votive. When she continues, her voice is small and soaked in regret. "I'm not proud of what I did to either one of you. Kevin was the safe and dependable choice. I knew just what I was getting with him. And he told me he loved me for the first time that night. He said the words I needed, even if they were from the wrong man…Most of all, in the end, I think it was just that he couldn't hurt me, but you could." The room falls silent again, but in the quiet she hears him walking over to her.

When she turns, he can see the look of pain on her face mirrors his own.

"I'm so sorry, Barney."

The tears brimming in her eyes break his heart, and more than anything he wants to comfort her, but they've finally got their timing right. Timing. He understands its importance now. And as much as he wants to comfort her, he knows isn't quite time yet. He has to let her get the rest out first.

"I realize now how much I hurt you, and I am so sorry. If I had known – " Robin's voice breaks then, tears dropping down onto her cheeks. She makes a little sound as she tries to compose herself and, even if it isn't time yet, Barney places a comforting hand on her shoulder and rubs it softly because he can't just stand idly by while she cries. "If I had know then," she tries again, "how serious you were…..if I had known you had all this – " She gestures around them at the candles and the rose petals. "– planned for me upstairs, I would have gone with you. I would have broken up with Kevin and never looked back."

Her hand covers his at her shoulder as she whispers, "I'm sorry I hurt you. I shouldn't have brought him with me that night. It wasn't my idea; he wanted to come. I could have tried harder to get him to go home, but mainly I was afraid of facing you alone. I thought that once I saw you I'd just spill out the truth, or if we were alone together I wouldn't be able to fight how much I wanted to be with you. Kevin was my safety barrier. I shouldn't have come to MacLaren's at all but I honestly didn't know if you would go through with it, and I wanted to see. I wanted to see for myself if you really did break up with Nora and come there to meet me. It was selfish, and hurtful, and I'm sorry. There will never be words that are good enough, but that's the reason. I was just terrified of how much I loved you. That love gave you power, and that's always frightened me. I was afraid you would hurt me, or I would hurt you. That we'd both hurt each other again and end up not even friends. But that happened anyway."

Hearing it all from Robin's perspective, Barney can see for the first time how bad it really must have seemed in her eyes. In fact, he comes off looking like a bit of a jackass – forgetting he had a girlfriend, changing his answer, telling her she was a mess, never once mentioning actual feelings. Were he in her shoes, he probably would have reacted the same way.

He moves his other hand up to cup her face, his thumb wiping away a stray tear from across her cheekbone. "Robin, I'm an idiot. All this time I was so sure that you didn't love me – that I just wasn't good enough for you – and that's why you stayed with Kevin. Because you loved him and not me, because he gave you something I couldn't. And.…maybe I was a little mad at you, at first, for leading me on."

Robin's eyes drop away from his and she nods in understanding. "You had every right to be."

He shakes his head, tilting her chin back up to meet his gaze. "No, because I never stopped and let myself see that not once did I ever tell _you_ how I felt. I wanted you to lay it all on the line and take a chance with me, but I never even told you what I was offering. But I was confused too, Robin. After our talk on the sidewalk, when you said we couldn't just run back to the past, I thought that was your answer, that you absolutely didn't want to think about us again. I mean, you literally pushed me at Nora. I thought I had to move on, and I tried so hard to settle down and be a good boyfriend to her but – " He pauses, and this time he's the one looking squarely at her, making sure she's really hearing him now. "I _always_ still loved you. And when you started dating Kevin? God, I hated that guy," Barney says with exaggerated annoyance that makes Robin smile. "But I thought you'd moved on just like you wanted me to. I was positive I was the furthest thing from your mind. Until that night in the cab, when I started kissing you and you kissed me back."

His thumb caresses a gentle path across her skin. "Being with you again – Robin, I didn't even realize I cheated. I forgot there even was a Nora. My whole world came down to you and me in that bed. Nothing else existed for me. The only reason I kept changing my answer if it meant anything to me was because I didn't want to say too much if you weren't feeling it too. I was afraid of telling you how I felt and then hearing you say you didn't feel that same way. But in the end, pride or no pride, I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't pretend anymore, even if you could. That's why I asked you to break up with Kevin and meet me that night. But I see now that I was asking too much without telling you first. If _I_ was terrified you didn't feel the same way, then of course _you'd_ be feeling that too."

She sees fierce determination light his eyes as he continues. "And you know something? You're _not_ a mess. That's not what I meant. I just meant we're so alike. We understand each other like no one else ever has. We both have our problems, yes, but together we're perfect. I should have told you _that_. I should have told you how I felt. I was going to," he promises, "later that night."

"In my room?" Robin asks regretfully, but she can already guess the answer. And she knows what that means; they could have been together for the past year. She hates all of the wasted months, all of the lost moments that could have been theirs.

Barney nods. "Yeah. I was only just figuring it out myself. Deep down, I always knew I loved you, but I didn't know if it was 'meant to be'; I just knew I wanted it to be. Then when I went back to Nora's place to break up with her, her parents were there a night early. Her dad started talking about how when you meet the right person you just _know it_. They're your best friend and your soul mate, the one you can't stop thinking about, the one you can't wait to spend the rest of your life with, the one that nothing and no one else could ever compare to. I couldn't help but think of you, and all you've meant to each other. And I realized it then, just like that – like lightening, like Ted always said," Barney admits with chagrin, "that you were all those things for me: my best friend, my soul mate, the one woman nothing and no one could ever hold a candle to, the one who I dreamed of spending the rest of my life with. I rushed back to tell you all of that."

He looks around at the candles and rose petals she's replicated from that night. "That's why I did this," he tells her. "I wanted to show you how special you are to me. I never got that chance, but I realize now it's my own fault. I should have told you how I felt beforehand. I never gave you a reason to break up with Kevin. I was just so sure you would. The way we were together the night before….." Robin watches his eyes take on a faraway look. She knows he's remembering, but this time it isn't pain she reads on his face but something she's must more comfortable with: affection with a touch of lust. "The way we made love, I was so sure you must feel the same way."

"I did, I was just running away from what I felt because I thought that was the best thing for both of us. But when Quinn happened, when I found out you were dating her, I couldn't even speak for five minutes straight." And he knows she isn't exaggerating. He can read the truth of it, the pain of it, clearly on her face. "But there was nothing I could do," she says emphatically. "I didn't have a right to say anything. You'd moved on, and I wanted you to be happy. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping it all inside, by suppressing it and pretending I didn't still love you. But every time I saw you with her, I _hated_ it. I couldn't bear it, Barney." After all this time, like a dam bursting, it all comes spilling out. "That's why I skipped out on Lily's baby shower, because I just couldn't go there and see the two of you together. And that night when I had to fly the helicopter, when I could have died….Ted was right; I didn't see my whole life, just the thing I love. I saw you."

Barney's expression changes to somewhere caught between surprise, amazement, and pure happiness. "You saw me?" he asks, smiling.

"I saw us, all our little moments. When it came right down to it, Barney, you were the only thing that mattered."

"Do you remember my bus accident, where _I_almost died?"

She looks at him incredulously. "How could I forget that?"

"I saw you," he says, so simple and straightforward, but the truth of it holds such gravity – the force and meaning of which she's only just beginning to understand. "The paramedics say it was touch and go for a while there, and all I saw was you."

A crinkle of confusion forms over the bridge of Robin's nose. "What about the suit of money? And the boobs lactating scotch?"

Barney laughs. "Nope. It was you. Just you. That's when I knew for sure I was in love with you, that I loved you more than I've ever loved anything."

He can see the tears pooling in her eyes again as she tells him, "I never knew that." She shakes her head. "God, we are such a pair."

"In four and a half years, I should have told you."

"I should have told you about mine. It would have saved us both so much heartache, but I didn't want to mess things up for you and Quinn. It felt like you'd made your choice, and it wasn't me, and I had to learn to live with that." Her hands drop away from him, and he can tell just by looking at her that it still hurts to talk about. "When I found out you asked her to marry you, that you were _engaged_, I can't even describe it. Knowing that was it, that I'd lost you forever, the pain was so intense. That first night was easily the worst night of my life. It felt like a part of me would just die. And maybe it did, until you brought it back to life." She exiles heavily, her eyes drifting away from his to a point somewhere on the far wall. "Even now, after everything that's happened, I still can't stand to hear her name. It's like little pricks to the heart or a punch to the gut, just instantly nauseous and upset."

Barney doesn't want to hurt Robin any more, and clearly this conversation does, but he doesn't understand why Quinn should hold any power over her now. "Because you hated her that much?" he prompts gently.

"No, because you loved her that much. You were going to _marry_ her, Barney. You really were going to marry her."

"Robin, everything you said about Kevin, how he happened because you thought I loved Nora and you had to move on? That's exactly what happened with Quinn. I thought you'd never love me – in my mind, you'd made that very clear – and so I had to move on. I know you think almost marrying her was a big deal for me and it must mean I was crazy in love with her. I get that now; everything that's happened these past few months is because you were trying to back off and let me go, let me be happy." Barney stops, taking her hands in his. "But the truth is I was really just heartbroken, and lonely, and desperate, trying to hold on to anything I could and find some meaning in it. But I always wanted it to be you instead."

She throws her arms around him then and pulls him into a fierce embrace. Maybe after all these years Lily is starting to rub off on her, but Robin can't help thinking a good, long hug is what they both need. And there's hardly a better feeling in the world than simply being held by him. She closes her eyes as she feels one of his hands slide up from her back to stroke through her hair, and they stay that way for the longest time, until Robin eventually breaks the silence.

"Barney," she says, pulling back to look at him, "I think we were both idiots." The truth of that makes him laugh and she joins along with him. "We were. We both should have told each other how we felt. It's more my fault than yours. If I would have just had the courage to show up alone that night then you would have told me you loved me, and I would have told you, and we'd be together all this time. We wasted so much time _not_ telling each other how we felt."

"Never again. Let's never do that again, Robin."

She nods. "From now on, I'm all in if you are."

"You know I am."

They look over at each other, smiling, and the mood starts to shift. She can feel that he wants to kiss her, and she wants to kiss him too. They've earned this. Through all their mistakes and missteps and misunderstandings, they've earned this. It's their time now, their season to finally be together, and she doesn't want to waste a second of it.

"Let's make this our grand do-over. We'll start all over tonight the way we should have back then. So…." She smirks at him, and there's heat in this smile that he can feel all the way down to his toes. "If I had shown up alone and you brought me upstairs to this romantic scene…" Her eyebrow arches at him, a silent challenge. "Then what?"

Barney grins – a smile that's half love and half sex and all for her – as he steps even closer. Robin feels her heart pick up already, before he's even touched her.

"The first thing I would have done was try very hard to keep my hands off you until I told you how I felt." He gives her a mischievous look that's just so Barney it makes her heart ache. "Of course I wouldn't have succeeded. As soon as the bedroom door closed, it would be a hand here." He puts his hand on her waist. "And a hand there." His other hand goes to her shoulder, his thumb sliding over her collarbone again and again in a rhythmic pattern.

She bites her lip, asks, "What next?", and he smiles.

He's not sure if it's the lip thing or her breathless tone, but he knows he has her. She belongs to him. Oh, Robin Scherbatsky is forever her own woman, true enough. But her heart belongs to him – finally, he's come to realize just how much – and, in moments like this, her body too. "And then I would have looked into her eyes – " He does just that. "– and I would have said, 'Robin, I love you. I've always loved you. I always will love you. There's nothing in this world I want more than to be with you. And I will do _anything_ to make that happen." There are tears in his eyes as he struggles to get through the rest. "I will do anything to see that we're together and we stay that way forever'."

Robin reaches up and presses her palm to his cheek, her thumb running the path of his jaw line. "And I would have said, 'Barney, I love you too, more than I even knew was possible. And I want all of that with you – only you – forever'."

His eyes drift down to her mouth. "Then we would have kissed."

"Mm-hmm."

In all the years they've danced around each other, loved each other, and then danced around some more, they've so rarely had kisses with a slow build up. They've had a handful of almost-kisses, but those were all build up with no fulfillment. Their actual kisses were always full speed ahead. Their fateful kiss last November was probably the closest they've ever came to build up and fulfillment.

They're both discovering now there's something tantalizing and immensely satisfying in experiencing both sides at once. But like so many of their kisses before, the moment their lips touch, they're both _gone_. It goes from slow build up to open-mouthed, tongue-tangled passion in a matter of seconds.

When they finally break apart, Barney's eyes trail from her lips, down her neck, to her emerald-covered breasts. "The neckline of that dress drove me crazy."

His hands slide down from cupping her face, holding her steady in place for his kisses, to trace along the deep V of the dress's neckline. The tips of his fingers brush against Robin's skin and her already rapid breathing increases. The rise of fall of her chest is hypnotic as he touches her, and he can't resist curling his hands, dipping the backs of his fingers beneath the fabric to brush across the skin that's still covered as he continues to follow the dress's path down her neck to her breasts and back again, over and over, teasing her but not yet touching her the way she craves. He's driving her to distraction and they both know it.

"For months on end, I watched you in pants and blouses – so professional, so buttoned-up, so covered. But not this dress." He takes his hands away to better admire her and she whimpers softly in protest. "In this dress your boobs said, 'Here I am. Come play with me'."

"They're definitely saying that now."

Barney grins. "Are they?" And he finally allows them what they both want, cupping her softly through the dress.

"Every part of me is saying that," Robin breathes, leaning into him and pressing herself further into his palms.

But his hands ghost away, moving down to unfasten her black belt. "Well, we can't disappoint them."

He soon discovers what he never got to that night last fall. The emerald dress has more than just a neckline that taunted him. It's a sort of a wrap dress, and with some very slight unraveling it opens completely. He wonders for a second what was subconsciously going through her mind that night last November when she chose such a dress to meet him in for the first time since making love the night before. But all thoughts are thrown from his mind when he peels the dress apart to reveal the scant amount of black lace beneath, and then nothing but Robin – soft, and warm, and inviting – for as far as the eye could see.

She's wearing a push-up bra that's doing amazing things for her breasts and a thong that's little more than a tiny scrap of fabric just barely covering the good parts. "Wow. You were not kidding about what you've got on underneath."

"Uh-huh," she beams proudly. "I was going to get something more elaborate, but then I remembered how impatient you are and your tendency to start ripping things before looking for hooks and closures."

"Hey," he says in mock offense, but his blue eyes have that kid-in-a-candy-store look as he slides her dress down her arms, discarding it onto the footstool, one of the only surfaces in the room that isn't covered in burning candles. "I always bought you new things to replace them."

"And ripped those ones too," Robin laughs. "It was a vicious cycle."

Barney levels her with a single, seductively challenging look. "I don't remember you complaining."

"Nope," she says, stepping into him. "Rip away."

He takes her into his arms, and his mouth is on hers again, and it all gets a little frantic and hazy for a while as they stumble towards the bed. Then he lays her down on the petals, as he would have a year ago, and stops kissing her long enough to step back and admire the sight.

Barney stands there, looking down at Robin, and softly shakes his head. "You're beautiful," he whispers in awe.

She smiles, blushing. It's a rare but adorable look on her. "You just saw me last night," she reminds him. "And this morning."

"I'll never get tired of looking."

"Come here," she beckons to him, moving up onto her knees to meet him as he sits down on the bed. She pulls him to her by the lapels of his suit coat, and murmurs against his lips, "You're wearing too many clothes. But I can fix that." She gives in and kisses him again, lets her tongue slide over his for a moment before breaking away to strip him of his coat, tossing it over to land atop her dress on the footstool.

Robin starts to loosen Barney's tie but gives up and touches her lips to his again, and it's stop and go for awhile as she alternately works at the knot and kisses him. Finally, she pulls it free from his collar, and a sudden idea occurs to her. "Do you want to see my absolute favorite look on you? Well, second favorite," she corrects. She strips him of his suit coat, and opens the first button of his shirt, then each wrist, rolling up his sleeves to just below the elbow. She draws back to admire her work, giving him a heated onceover with a little shiver she doesn't even have to fake.

"That does it for you, huh?" Barney asks with amusement.

"Yes," she exhales, looking like she wants to eat him up, which he's not at all opposed to.

"I'll make a note of that. It's easier than scars and missing teeth. But it's only your second favorite look. What's your first, or do I even need to ask?" he says, drawing her to him.

"Birthday suited up, all the way. Definitely your best look."

He gives her a wink, accompanied by a click of his tongue. "You know it, baby."

Robin laughs, shakes her head. "You never change, do you?"

"Oh, this is the new and improved version – thanks to you," he smiles. "But the fundamentals of the original Barnacle will always stay the same."

"Good. I wouldn't want it any other way."

She climbs onto his lap then, straddles him, as she attacks the remaining buttons of his shirt, her open mouth working over his neck all the while. Once she manages to free his shirt from his pants, she discards it at the foot of the bed. "Halfway there," she declares, with a saucy wink of her own. Her hands roam over his chest a moment and then she lunges for his mouth again, kissing him feverishly as her fingers slide down to his belt.

That's as long as Barney can go before his hand drifts up from her hip to unhook her bra with practiced ease. He lets it fall away and then tosses it to the ground, which momentarily stops their makeout session as Robin sits back on his thighs, waiting for his I-just-saw-boobs face.

And there it is.

He just stares at her for the longest time, his eyes taking in every last inch of skin. She chuckles softly with affectionate amusement – which inadvertently adds a little jiggle to the sight, further scrambling his brain cells.

"Barney," Robin says, sliding off his lap, making sure to rub across the good places as she goes. That gets his attention.

She lies down, stretching her arms up over her head, her back arching up to him like the perfect offering. "Come play with me."

Barney's face breaks out into the hugest smile, because somehow he's lucky enough to have this woman as his playmate for the rest of their lives. Lowering himself down to her, he slides his arms beneath her, pulling her up close against him, and buries his face in her breasts.

And they play all night in the rose scented room.

* * *

**AN**: So that was really a prologue to the rest of the story. I just wanted to have the characters deal with their sometimes inexplicable behavior toward one another over the past few years (I referred to 12 episodes specifically: Twin Beds; Big Days; Subway Wars; Baby Talk; Garbage Island; Challenge Accepted; The Best Man; The Stinson Missile Crisis; Disaster Averted; Playbook; Bachelor Party; Tick, Tick, Tick, in that order). Now that they've finally aired it out, talked about things, and realized their misunderstandings, they can put it behind them for good.

The rest of the chapters will just be loosely woven together. You won't need to read them all, or in order, to understand what's happening. It's just a chronological picture of their lives. I'm really excited about the next two chapters. The next one will deal with the question of Ted, and then some Barney/Robin antics at MacLaren's, as well as a couple of different flashbacks. The one after that will feature Barney and Robin babysitting Marvin and deal with the question of her infertility. Writing has been a little slower going in the summer, however, so Chapter 2 probably won't be up for another couple of weeks and Chapter 3 not until August. We'll see if I can get it done faster though.


	2. The Perfect Play

**AN**: I usually like to make all my chapters self-contained little stories, but this one was getting ridiculously long, so I decided to break it up into two parts. There shouldn't be a huge wait before you get the second part because I'm already halfway done with it, but I apologize in advance for leaving you hanging – hopefully in an exciting way.

Also this chapter, as well as the next one, will feature a flashback (this first chapter right at the start). They don't allow the kind of formatting I would prefer here, so to try to cut out the confusion the only way I can, I've encased the flashback in line breaks but please understand it's all part of that first scene.

* * *

**The Perfect Play**

* * *

Robin slides onto the stool next to where he's standing, leaning against the bar. "Looking for another hookup, hmm?" she asks

Her voice, suddenly so near, catches Barney off guard. He hadn't even seen her come in.

He's already sized up the talent in the bar, but his heart isn't in it. He actually wasn't trying to catch some girl's eye across the room, as Robin apparently thinks. He'd just found himself staring at a spot on the far corner of the wall, wondering how he ended up here yet again, when she'd come over and sat beside him.

Of course, she doesn't have to know that. After all, she isn't fundamentally wrong. He is planning on going home with one of these women tonight, mostly out of a sense of resigned habit but also from a need to avoid his empty apartment where the silence screams of his failures.

He looks over to Robin for the first time and shrugs. "What can I say? I explained it once: with great penis comes great responsibility. Robin," he begins, imbuing his voice with an air of sacredness, "I owe it to society to share my penis with womankind. And tonight's lucky recipient will be…. her." He points to a woman with a short skirt and a tight sweater standing near the jukebox.

Robin ignores his gesturing, not even bothering to look over at the woman in question. Instead, she studies him with carefully shrouded eyes. "You know, you don't have to keep doing this," she tells him. "We both know you want more than just another meaningless one-night-stand."

"Look, Robin," he begins with a hint of defensiveness, "I'm just – I'm not cut out to be someone's boyfriend." And by the end of the sentence all traces of edginess have melted away to be replaced by a sad tone of acceptance. "If anything, the past year has taught me that."

He's surprised to see her shaking her head in disagreement. "Don't sell yourself short, Barney. Just because Quinn was a fool – "

"I thought you were going to say 'crazy bitch'," he interrupts.

"That too," she laughs. "Just because of…" She hesitates, evidently deciding it best to avoid direct reference. "...all that, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you." The next part comes with no hesitation. In fact, she carefully holds his eye. "_Any_ woman would be lucky to have you as her boyfriend."

He smiles at her then, one she softly returns. "You really mean that?" he asks, wondering if it's just pity or if there's any truth to it at all.

"Yes. I do," she answers, and there's a blank sincerity in her voice that's easy even for him to read. It brings the smile back to his lips for a moment, until he remembers.

"But – " He stops, staring down into his tumbler of scotch; they never could meet each other's eyes during conversations like this. "_You_ weren't very lucky when we were together. I was a terrible boyfriend to you. You weren't happy. We were….a mess," he says with a humorless laugh. He finally dares to glance up at her and sees that she's looking at him too, with care and concern and something else he can't quite name.

Robin's torn on how to answer him. Usually he so carefully wears a mask; she recognizes it because it matches her own. But tonight that mask has slipped a bit, and she can see that he's genuinely upset, genuinely doubting his abilities to bring anything good – other than nameless sex – to a woman. It's that doubt that moves her, that stirs her heart, because Barney has grown in leaps and bounds in the past two years and he deserves to know that. It's his doubt that ultimately makes her speak up and voice the words she never has before.

"Maybe in the end we were, but not at first. In those first four and a half months before anyone knew, when we didn't have to try to be something, when it was just _us_, we were good together then. We were both happy." And the truth of it hits her, maybe for the first time.

She watches him watch her. Something strange flashes across his expression before he holds it in check, smiling warmly at her. "Yeah. We were," he agrees, holding her gaze.

"See, you have a lot to offer, Barney. You're smart, and funny, and challenging – in a good way," she promises. "Life with you around is certainly never boring. We both know you're attractive," she admits, to which he winks, making her laugh. "You're just, you're fun, Barney. And no one but me can beat you at laser tag."

"Hey, that's not – "

"You're crazy, and ridiculous, and inappropriate, and _awesome_, and so sweet when you want to be, and – " She abruptly cuts herself off. Somewhere along the way she'd gotten lost in all of his attributes, embarrassingly so. "Any woman would be lucky to have you," she repeats, leaving it at that.

He's watching her again, but there's something more of a purely Barney look about him now. "I _am_ awesome," he agrees. "But I don't know." He shakes his head, fascinated with his scotch once more. "The minute the word 'boyfriend' entered into things, it all went downhill from there."

"That's just because you weren't ready…..And neither was I." Robin started out trying to make Barney feel better, just trying to make him realize that sleeping with random bimbos forever wasn't the answer, but now she thinks she may have hit upon something profoundly important here. And what feels an awful lot like realization starts to tingle through her. "There wasn't anything wrong with us," she says, an air of sudden enlightenment in her voice. "We just weren't ready."

Robin gazes back up at Barney. He's looking at her too now, his eyes searching, and suddenly it's like everything else in the room disappears as the moment stretches between them.

Still working this all out in her mind, Robin is the first to speak. "But now…."

"Now…." he encourages her.

"Now would be completely different….._Now_," she says, and if he's not mistaken there's a trace of a smile on her lips. "…Nowwe would be – "

"Robin?"

Barney never gets to hear what they might be now because another voice has caught them both off guard. Nick, Robin's latest boyfriend, the latest in a line of guys – Don, Kevin, even for a minute there, Ted – who she'd rather try with than him.

"Hey, I didn't see you come in," Robin says to him, getting up.

Barney watches Nick draw her in and kiss her. It's a chaste kiss but it still makes him want to punch the guy squarely in the nose, even if it would hurt his hand.

Robin laughs nervously, pulling away from her boyfriend and glancing back at Barney. "We, um, we have dinner reservations so, ah, I've got to get going," she says awkwardly, and Barney thinks she must feel sorry for him again.

"Of course," Barney answers nonchalantly. "I've got to get going too. I have an obligation to the Eight over there." This time he does catch the girl's eye, sending her his most devastating Barney grin.

Robin watches it all. Her face is carefully blank as she takes her boyfriend's arm. "Just promise to think about what I said."

Barney nods at her. "Night, Robin."

"Night," she echoes.

As Nick leads her hand-in-hand out of the bar, Robin turns around and looks back at Barney one last time before she disappears up the stairs. But he's already crossed the room to his bed partner for the night and he doesn't see.

* * *

Barney slowly wakes up from the dream, realizing in bits and pieces that he's no longer back at MacLaren's but in Robin's bed instead – and the woman in question is spooned in his arms. With a ghost of a sigh for at last preferring his real life to a dream, he nestles in closer to her.

The movement of the bed causes Robin to stir. Reaching down behind her, she plucks his hand from her hip, moving it up to cradle between her breasts, in the process causing him to embrace her snugly. "You really loved me all that time?" she asks. "More than anyone?" And he can tell from her voice that she was already awake even before he moved.

He chuckles softly, kisses her shoulder. "I really did."

She turns around in his arms to kiss him, but there's something in her expression that tells him immediately that something's wrong.

Concerned, he questions, "What's the matter?"

The silence goes on long enough that he thinks she might evade the question entirely, but finally she quietly answers, "I was just having a dream."

"Mm, so was I. Well, more of a memory."

"So was mine. At first." The trace of disquiet crosses her face again.

He doesn't miss it, but he decides to share with her first, hoping it will encourage her to do the same. "I was dreaming about that night at MacLaren's when you told me I should try again because I'd make a good boyfriend," he confides. "That was the first time I ever really knew you were actually happy with me."

"Of course I was," she says, her hand sliding up to rest against his upper arm.

"But that's not what you were dreaming about." Barney reaches up to softly smooth the wrinkle of worry from her brow. "Yours wasn't so good, huh?"

"I dreamt about the day you got engaged, only things ended differently in the dream. With wedding bells." Robin shakes her head against the pillow. "I know it sounds stupid, but…" She stops, blows out a heavy breath, and for a moment he isn't sure if she's going to continue, but then she goes on. "I – I guess I just always felt like I was special to you, even after we broke up, because…because I was the only one. Your only girlfriend. Even if you didn't love me, I was still the only one you ever tried with, and that at least meant something. But now I'm not anymore. There's been Nora and Quinn – and you tried _so hard_ with them. You were even going to marry her."

It boggles Barney's mind a little that he never before understood how truly vulnerable Robin really is. But how does one assume that the most awesome woman on the planet can't see it herself? Deep down, though, she's just as insecure as he is – maybe more so. It's no wonder it took them so long to figure this thing out. "I was engaged to you first," he points out.

"Yeah, but that's doesn't count. You were only fooling around, playing relationship chicken. You didn't really mean it."

"Who says?" She doesn't know what to make of that and starts to tell him so, but he stops her. "Robin, you _are_ special to me." The next part he asks so softly, so full of caring that she feels the back of her eyes prickle with the first warning sign of impending tears. "You still don't believe I really do love you?"

Robin doesn't know how it's possible but she thinks she just fell in love with him even a little bit more. "I do believe it," she promises him, cuddling into him, setting her hands against his chest. "This is just – it's my own stupid thing. I'll get over it."

"No. Uh-uh," Barney says firmly. "We don't get to do that anymore. We tell each other. It's the only way to fix things."

He waits, and so she continues softly, "I – I do believe you loved me – "

"The whole time," he emphasizes.

"The whole time. But…...things came so easy with them. You were meeting parents, and moving in, and getting engaged in a matter of weeks. And it took you _years_ to even consider trying with me."

"Things weren't easy with them. Far from it," Barney disputes. "With Nora, I had to hide who I actually was, and Quinn…we barely knew each other, really – and there was the huge issue that she was out every night grinding on other men for money. Things were only fast because I rushed them. I knew what I wanted my life to be, so I tried to _make_ it fit. But the only reason I knew what I wanted, the only reason I tried with any of those other women at all was because you opened my heart to the possibilities – love, commitment, relationships, marriage even. It was all because of you. That makes you incredibly special," he tells her, cupping her cheek, his thumb stroking her jaw line. "All of those things, I always thought they weren't meant for someone like me, that they could never make _me_ happy. But I have never been happier in my whole life than when I was with you. The way I felt when we were together? I've just been chasing that feeling ever since. That's why Nora happened. That's why Quinn happened. I've been chasing that feeling but I never could catch it. Only with you. That feeling, Robin, it only exists with you."

Barney watches Robin smile. He sees that little twinkle in her eye that always makes his heart skip, that captures his breath and leaves it somewhere lodged in his throat. "And it's a good feeling?" she asks.

"It's an _awesome_ feeling."

Robin grins happily. "Then it must be the same feeling I only get whenever I'm with you." She pulls him to her for a kiss that quickly gets the better of both of them. By the time they break away he's managed to roll her onto her back and he's leaning over her, almost atop her, in a way that speaks of delicious things about to start.

Barney bends down for one more kiss, then shifts over onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow. He looks down at her, his eyes sparkling with mischief and contentment and desire. He opens his mouth to speak when his gaze settles on the pop of color peeking out of the top of the sheet at her right breast. He reaches over to investigate and smiles as he picks a rose petal from her skin. "Robin," he says, his hand lingering near the sheet's edge, "it's time we played a game."

"Oh yeah?" And the undisguised eagerness in her voice makes his smile widen.

"Mm-hmm, one of my favorite games." He flicks the covers aside, sliding slightly down her body to kiss her rose-scented breast. Her hand goes up to tunnel through his hair as she cups his skull. "I think you'll remember it well," he murmurs, his mouth making one last swipe across her skin before moving lower down to her belly, his tongue dipping into her navel. His fingers tease the sensitive skin of her inner thighs as he slides further down her body. "I know how much you loved this game." He smirks up at her, then draws his attention back down, his eyes drinking in the sight of the most magical lady bits he's ever known. "Haaave you met Barney?" he says. He can feel the vibration of her laughter but it soon dies out, turning to soft sighs instead, as he thoroughly reintroduces himself.

* * *

That night, they're all gathered at Marshall and Lily's apartment for dinner. With the newest little member of the gang still only six months old, sometimes it's just easier and more convenient for all parties concerned to stay in rather than try going out. And as long as the conversation's good and the booze keeps flowing, no one seems to mind.

Ted's just excused himself to the bathroom, Marshall is in the nursery changing Marvin's diaper, and Lily announces she's going into the kitchen to cut the simple chocolate cake she's made – because, in her words, she "didn't have time to do gourmet". All of that means, for now, Barney and Robin are temporarily alone.

The very moment Lily's back disappears into the other room, Barney snakes his arm around Robin's waist and draws her against him, his nose, lips, and chin softly rubbing across the side of her neck.

Her lips quirk into a smile. "Did you just nuzzle me?"

Rather than backpedal or defend, like he would have done three years ago when they were dating, Barney proudly owns it. "Hell yeah, I just nuzzled you." Robin looks at him in surprised amusement, and he smiles as he explains, "We almost lost each other for good. Having you back this way, the two of us finally together….." He bends and brushes his lips across her skin again. "Robin, I'm going to hold you, and nuzzle you, and kiss you every chance I get." Her eyes shine up at him and she opens her mouth to reply, but he interrupts before she can. "But if you repeat that to any of these guys, I'll deny it for all I'm worth."

Robin laughs, pulling Barney in for a kiss. It's not long before they get lost in it completely. It isn't until she hears Ted purposefully clearing his throat that Robin remembers they're not the only two people in the apartment. She looks up from where she's half-laying, pressed between the arm of the couch and Barney, one hand softly cupping his face and the other curled into his shoulder.

Ted's looking at them with a curious, unreadable expression. That's when it occurs to her that only nine months back Ted was declaring _his _love for her – and cutting her out of his life completely when she couldn't return those feelings. It's water under the bridge now, what with everything's that happened with Victoria since, but still it's fresh enough to make Robin slightly uncomfortable when Ted hides behind that too-careful look.

She kisses Barney one last time, gently pushing him off of her. "I'm gonna go help Lily," she tells him, getting up from the couch.

By the time Robin and Lily return from the kitchen with cake for all, Robin figures she's thankfully dodged any sort of awkward conversation, but those hopes are dashed later in the evening when she goes into the kitchen for another bottle of wine and Ted follows her.

"Hey," he says, cornering her by the kitchen counter as she goes to pop the cork.

"Hey."

"Robin, can I ask you something?"

"Sure," she answers, smiling tightly. Inwardly, she's really hoping no desperate protestations of love are about to follow. She doesn't _think_ they will, but never in a million years did she ever see it coming back in February, so you just never know. It could be possible that getting back together with Barney now may have brought up some lingering issues.

"You and Barney," Ted begins slowly, confirming her fears, "this….this is for real, isn't it?"

Robin glances back out into the living room, and from this vantage point she has a perfect view of Barney, sitting there, grinning happily. "Yes. It is," she replies.

And Ted reads it on her face. He sees it there so clearly, it can't possibly be denied, even by him. It's only in the past few days that it's begun to sink in for the very first time. But now he knows it with a finality that reverberates though him. Barney is Robin's One. He's it for it. He always has been. "You _really_ love him."

"I really do," she nods.

"I'm happy for you, I am," he hurries to tell her. "But I – I can't help wondering…..why not _me_?"

"Ted….I, um – "

"It's okay," he interjects, seeing the panic written all over her face. "I'm not going to tell you I love you again. That was a lost cause even back then," he acknowledges. "But I guess I thought – I just thought for all these years that you didn't believe in commitment or marriage or settling down long-term. You didn't want any of that for yourself, and that was the thing keeping us apart. But you do want all those things; I can see that now. You just don't want them with me. So I've got to know, Robin, what's the matter with me? Why am I not good enough? Why am I _never_ enough?"

The hurt is so plain in his voice, it pricks Robin's heart. She feels all traces of panic melt away, leaving nothing but compassion in their wake. "Oh, Ted, there's nothing wrong with you. You are a great guy, and you're going to make some lucky woman the perfect husband," she assures him. "You'll be perfect for her. You just weren't perfect for _me_. And that's okay."

"Because Barney is."

Robin looks over to Barney, sitting on the couch next to Lily and Marvin, giving an impassioned and highly inappropriate speech as to why breast is best, and she smiles. "Yeah, he is."

Ted follows Robin's gaze and can't help smiling too; he's always been a sucker for true love, even if this one does hurt a bit. "Don't worry. I won't tell him you called him 'perfect'."

"It's too late," Robin laughs, still watching Barney in the other room, now performing a graphic demonstration that for some reason the baby finds hilarious. He catches her eye across the distance and winks at her. "I think he already knows how I feel."

Ted nods, watching them watch each other from across the room. "I don't know how I missed it," he says, shaking his head. "It's been right in front of my face this whole time and I just couldn't – or wouldn't – see it. You two _are_ perfect for each other."

"You'll find that too, Ted," she promises, placing a comforting hand on his arm. When he appears to doubt her, she repeats, "You _will_. And probably when you least expect it." Robin shrugs, smiling. "I never meant to fall in love with Barney. It just happened. It's kind of your fault," she tells him.

"_My_ fault?" Ted asks, dumbfounded.

"If _we_ hadn't gone out that night, if Barney and I had just met at the bar some other way, some other night, I would have been attracted to him. I would have gone home with him," she candidly admits. "We would have slept together and….." She pauses, thinking about how it might have gone if she met Barney that night back in 2005 and hooked up with him instead. "It would have been good. _Great_. And then, afterwards, we may have done it a few more times or he may have never called at all."

"He would have called you."

"Either way, we both wanted strictly casual and that's all we would have been, just something casual, until we were nothing at all. But you brought us into a situation where we couldn't sleep together, so instead we became friends, and then bros, and then…..something more. I don't know." She shakes her head, still unable to pinpoint the exact moment. "I think it's one of those things that's so gradual over time you don't even notice it happening. Until one day I woke up and realized I'm in love with Barney Stinson – and that was a _terrifying_ realization." She looks over to Barney, who instantly feels her eyes on him and smiles back. "It took us years to get it together, but he was always the one." Robin turns back to Ted, and she's smiling a goofy lovestruck grin he never thought he would ever see on her face. "I blame you."

"In that case, Scherbatsky, you're welcome."

* * *

Out to dinner the next evening, Barney turns to Robin and abruptly says, "Ted's upset. We've got to fix this."

Robin drops her fork against her plate, surprised and a bit leery. This whole situation with her and Barney and Ted is tricky. Ted's admission last winter certainly drove that point home. She can see now that it's always been complicated between the three of them, even if she didn't realize it over the years. After all, it was sleeping with her that got Barney banned from the group four years ago, and the Thanksgiving right after her break up with Barney, Ted actually confessed to being bothered by the fact that she dated Barney. She hadn't taken it seriously at the time, thinking it was just a trick to get the slap, but apparently she shouldn't have dismissed it so easily. Now she's beginning to wonder if this might be another time where she shouldn't just let it go. "Ted's upset about us?" she asks Barney. "Did he say something to you?

"No." He gives her a confused look. He hadn't been referring to the two of them at all but, now that she's said it, his mind goes wandering – and lands squarely on the conversation he saw Robin and Ted embroiled in last night at Marshal and Lily's place. "Why? Did he say something to you?"

He's no longer afraid of losing Robin to Ted like he was back in February, but Barney still remembers how Ted shunned Robin for months after she rejected him. If those feelings are resurfacing again, it could get awkward for the entire group.

"Kind of," Robin admits. "He wanted to know, why not him." Barney frowns at that, so she further explains, "Ted always thought I just didn't want love or commitment and that's what went wrong in our relationship, but that's been debunked now. So he wanted to know why I never wanted those things with him, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Barney had been about to say something else but her words derail him. His expression softens into that sweet, open look he saves just for her. "You want to spend the rest of your live with me?" he asks softly.

Robin smiles, her eyes meeting his, if a bit shyly. "That is what we're doing here, isn't it?"

"Absolutely it is," he answers without question. "But it still feels good to hear you say it."

Barney leans over to press his lips to hers. He doesn't mean it to be anything more than a simple, light kiss, but it's _them_ – after so long apart – and _she wants to spend the rest of her life with him_. He can't help himself and ends up deepening the kiss far more than is suitable for the middle of a public, upscale restaurant. It's only when the man at the next table keeps coughing pointedly, staring them down with clear disapproval, that they remember where they are and break apart.

Robin runs a hand through her hair sheepishly, but Barney appears completely unabashed. "So, about Ted," he says, seamlessly picking up where they left off before all the making out at the dinner table.

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't think he's actually upset about us per se – which certainly made _me_ feel better. I think it just bothers him to be the only one alone, still searching, after all this time."

Barney nods, giving the matter some thought. Then his eyes spark with a light of inspiration that always signals his latest challenge or scheme. "I think we can help him with that," he declares.

"You want us to find Ted a girlfriend?" Robin's not entirely opposed to the idea, but she's unsure of where they're going to dig up such a woman – one that neither Ted nor Barney hasn't already dated; New York only has so many single women, after all.

Barney muses over Ted's disastrous string of ex-girlfriends, from women with crazy eyes to ones that are clearly out of his league to relationships that are so obviously doomed from the start. "We probably would do a better job of it than Ted, but you know how he is. He likes to pick and choose himself, and once he's made his mind up there's no stopping him." Robin tips her head knowingly. "No, Ted's determined to keep making his own relationship mistakes. We can't do anything about that. But I'm not thinking anything long-term here. Or even one woman," Barney clarifies. "We need to get Ted laid."

Robin finds herself grinning because it's such typical Barney rationale. "Mm-hmm. And that will solve everything?" she asks skeptically.

His mouth stretches into a trademark Barney smirk. "Never underestimate the benefits of getting laid, well and often."

Robin nods thoughtfully. "It _has_ changed my outlook every morning," she says, throwing him a cheeky smile.

His grin widens. "_Right_?" There's a little moment when their gazes mingle where they're both obviously thinking about the many times they've done just that over the past few days. She can tell that he wants to kiss her, but after their earlier chastisement he refrains, though his hand does settle on her knee beneath the table.

"Okay, so we're in agreement; it'll at least cheer him up. But how do you suggest we get Ted laid 'well and often'." She anticipates him, interrupting before he has a chance. "And we're not paying these women."

"Alright, fine," he sighs teasingly. "We'll do it your way. And we'll start at MacLaren's," he proclaims, signaling for the check.

Barney hands Robin her drink, settling into the booth across from her. "So here's what I'm thinking," he tells her. "Christmas is coming up, and I know just what we'll give our friend Theodore." He waits a theatrically dramatic pause before announcing, "The ultimate play to procure him a hottie for the night! It'll be the gift that keeps on giving," he says, a touch of philanthropy in his voice.

"'The ultimate play'? So this is a Playbook kind of thing." She rolls her eyes. "Don't tell me we're going to advise him to do the Ted Mosby?"

"Nah, I tried that. It doesn't work. Just makes the ladies sad. You might wrangle a little boob action of it but that's – "

Robin makes a face, holding up a hand to stop him. "Okay, okay. What exactly do you have in mind?"

"We need to find Ted the Perfect Play, something that will work on any woman, at any time, under any circumstance. That way the next time he's here, picking out a Six to go home with – cause this is Ted we're talking about; guy doesn't have a hope of landing more than a Seven at the most –"

"Excuse me," Robin interrupts, gesturing down to herself. "A seven?"

"Scherbatsky, you know you're a ten. Come on, you break the scale," Barney smiles to her. "But Ted didn't land you. You were just on loan. Plus that was charity banging. We all make mistakes when we're younger," he says, patting her hand consolingly. "Ted's older now. The women who'll go for him have already gotten all that slumming out of their systems." She gives him a look, but he continues. "_Anyway_, the next time he's here, zeroing in on his Six of choice, he'll have The Perfect Play to guarantee he successfully closes the deal." As if she had any doubt, he clarifies, "And by 'closes the deal' I mean Ted gets his cue chalked and some lucky woman ends the night marginally satisfied."

Robin chuckles. "Alright, Barney, I'm in. But how do you propose we figure out the Perfect Play?"

Barney holds up his finger as if he's about to impart some great knowledge. "The only way to figure out any new play – and certainly the Perfect Play – is through extensive market research, just like in Cleveland."

"Uh, that's the only way to figure out what _won't_ work," she argues. "The longest fingernails? Patient Zero? An escaped convict? Barney, those lines were terrible."

"Yeah, there may have been an element of self-sabotage involved," he concedes.

"Really? That's what Lily said."

"Well, she was right," he admits.

Robin nods understandingly. "Because you were waiting for Nora's phone call."

"No. She hadn't called in days, and I really wasn't expecting her to. Anyway, she never would have known; it's not like we were dating. No," Barney explains, "it was because of you. There we were, both single, out of town at a wedding, our hotel rooms right next door to each other. I know we decided it would be a mistake, but…I liked making mistakes with you. Besides, it was too hard trying to pick up random women when the one woman I wanted was right there in the room and I couldn't have her. So I made sure I was still alone at the end of the night to come dance with you." Robin reaches across the table to take his hand, and Barney smiles contentedly as he intertwines their fingers. "So that explains the bad lines. But tonight, for Ted, I'm only using my premium stuff. We'll see what works the best and most often, weed out the losers, and compile – "

"Barney," Robin interjects, "I don't want to watch you hit on a bunch of women, even if it is to find some perfect play for Ted."

"Relax, I'm not gonna hit on anyone. Are you crazy? When I've already got the hottest woman in the room?" he says, squeezing her hand. "Please."

She smiles at his reassurance, but it leaves her more confused than ever. "How is this going to work, then?"

Barney's lip stretch into a wicked grin and Robin eyes him warily, wondering what she's gotten herself into. "Robin, I'm glad you asked."


	3. Agent Stinson

Here's a little overview of where we left these two:

_"Ted's upset. We've got to fix this…..We need to get Ted laid."_

_"And that will solve everything?" she asks skeptically._

_His mouth stretches into a trademark Barney smirk. "Never underestimate the benefits of getting laid, well and often."_

_Robin nods thoughtfully. "It has changed my outlook every morning," she says, throwing him a cheeky smile._

_"We need to find Ted the Perfect Play, something that will work on any woman, at any time, under any circumstance."_

_"How is this going to work?"_

_Barney's lip stretch into a wicked grin and Robin eyes him warily, wondering what she's gotten herself into. "Robin, I'm glad you asked."_

* * *

** Agent Stinson**

"You and I," he tells her, pointing between the two of them, "are going to devise a two person strategy. I'll use my charm, you use female comradery, and by the end of the night we'll have the truest result possible – which we'll then shape into the Perfect Play."

In the end, it goes a little something like this: Barney approaches a woman at the bar and charms her into talking to him; she's receptive but he tells her he's with someone and then introduces Robin, his "smokin' hot girlfriend" who also happens to be a sex therapist doing a study on the urban dating scene. Between the two of them they convince the woman to tell Robin the honest truths about her sex life – what lines work for her and what lines don't; what professions, hobbies, and types of men appeal to her; what sort of secret fantasies she has always had – a basic recipe for how to get her into bed.

They high five after their first success, then repeat it with the next woman, and so on and so on as the hours go by. Indeed, it works so perfectly all night that Barney bemoans the fact that he never thought of it back in the height of his womanizing.

"These women are giving us a goldmine! Every dream, every fantasy, every little line that translates directly into a sex act. Dude, in my hands this would guarantee – " He cuts himself off when he realizes how that sounds, and looks ruefully over at Robin, who's sitting on the bar stool next to him. "Not that I have any use for it now, of course."

Robin smiles tightly. "Of course."

"No, really," Barney says, concerned from her expression that he may have truly put his foot in it here. "You know I mean it, right? You're the only woman for me," he tells her earnestly, tenderly, with possibly just a hint of 'don't tell me I've screwed this up already' desperation.

Her face softens and she pulls him in for a kiss. "Yes, I know you really mean it. And, besides, every woman in this bar knows you're off limits," she declares proudly. "I've been marking you as my territory all night – kissing you, running my fingers through your hair, my hand on your thigh, your basic back-off-he's-mine signals."

"I thought that was just because you wanted to," he says, disappointed.

"That too," she allows. And when he continues to pout, she repeats as sweetly as can be, "No, really. You know I mean it, right?"

Barney shakes his head at her in helpless amusement. "Touché, Scherbatsky, touché." The smile she gives him now is full of flirtation and feminine wiles, and god she just gets him going like no woman ever has. "Come here," he whispers, low and lust-heavy. His hand finds her hip, drawing her to the edge of the stool as he bends to take her lips, kissing her eagerly.

And soon they're all over each other. Her hand is gripping his tie, the other fisted in his hair. His hand is on her thigh, his fingers tracing the seam of her jeans, while his free hand cups the back of her head, holding her steadily in place for his increasingly passionate kisses.

But Barney pulls away, setting his forehead to hers a moment while they both regain their breath. "We're dangerous tonight," he muses.

Robin nods her agreement. "You're right; we can't lose sight of our goal."

"At least not yet anyway," he adds, because he's got plans with her for later that definitely include what they've just been doing – plus a whole lot more. "We've collected some great stuff."

Robin smiles, fingering his tie. "It's been like old times tonight, the crazy adventures and schemes and challenges. This is fun. This is _us_. Barney-and-Robin."

He leans into her, his hand gliding even further up her thigh toward x-rated territory. His voice drops an octave as he whispers in her ear, his warm breath sending a shiver sliding low and seductive down her spine. "We could make it one better, Barney _in_ Robin."

She shakes her head at him but can't help smiling because that was an oh so Barney remark even if it was pretty cheesy. Although she does have to admit, right about now, it sounds awfully good. "You're an idiot," she laughs.

Barney grins at her, dropping the smooth seduction he had going and taking her hand instead. "You know, just because we're back together now, it doesn't mean all of that – our crazy adventures and challenges – has to stop. There's still the laser tag tournament next month. And our ongoing project of convincing Marshall that Carl's plotting a vampire rampage and has already begun turning MacLaren's patrons into what will soon become his undead army."

"Yeah, that's one of our better ones," she smirks. "But…."

"What?"

"I don't know. I guess I've just been a little…wistful tonight."

He looks at her strangely, not quite sure what she means. "How so?"

"Well, we've been collecting all these plays, and running one of our own at the same time. It's got me reminiscing. For years I watched you hit on women. And I'll finally admit; you're good at what you do, like,_ incredibly_ good." He grins at that, and damn it if the suave, arrogant smile doesn't make him look all the more appealing. "But I never had the chance to be on the receiving end. Some of your come-ons really were sexy, Barney. If I had just seen you in a bar, I so would have hit that."

"Mmm, that can be arranged," he promises, edging in closer.

"No, I'm serious. And I never really got to experience that side of you – only just the once, when you were trying to find that woman who was sabotaging you and we made it into a game bracket."

"I remember that!" Barney breaks out into a broad smile at the memory. "You volunteered to be the woman I was hitting on."

"Yes, and it was fun – and _way hot_." Robin looks up at him with inviting, half-lidded eyes, and all further thoughts of Ted's Perfect Play are forgotten. "I can tell you the truth now," she says, soft and low. "I was crazy turned on by you that night."

Barney nods proudly. "Yeah, you were." He lets go of her hand to caress her thigh again, mimicking the actions of that night long ago – only this time Robin doesn't protest. "If I had just seen you in the bar, of course I would have hit on you, but I'm not sure I would have tried a play. You're clearly too sophisticated to fall for that, not to mention you have far too many IQ points."

"No, I would have seen through you right away," she readily confirms. Then she presses a little closer, running her hand over his arm. "But I would have slept with you anyway."

Barney looks surprised. "You really would have?"

"I think I would have, yeah. I mean, why not? You and I both know we have amazing chemistry. We felt it right away." Robin smiles, imagining it. "I would have told you after your first line that I knew you were lying. Then we would have had a decent conversation – like that first night we bro-ed out over laser tag…..And then I would have gone home with you. Or," she says, her eyes lighting up with amusement at the second possibility, "if I was _really_ feeling like having some fun, I would have played along all night. Then the next morning after I got what I wanted, I would have told you, 'No hard feelings, but I knew the whole time you were full of it'."

"Oh, there would have been plenty of feeling hard the next morning," Barney enticingly maintains. "You would have intrigued me, which would have scared the hell out of me. But come on; it's you and me. There's no way I wouldn't keep coming back for more."

She's playing with his tie again – always a good sign – and he allows himself to be easily pulled in closer, all the more so when she uncrosses her legs and snakes one around his, the toe of her boot playing along his calf. "I guess we'll never know," she whispers.

And that's when the idea comes to him. "Or maybe we can." It's perfect, really. She wants fun challenges, crazy games, and to be on the receiving end of one of his full-scale seductions. This hits all three.

"How?" She shoots him a humoring look. "And please don't say Marshall's time travel idea. We both know it's as ridiculous as his plan to find Nessie."

"No," Barney laughs. "I propose we do an elaborate role-play." With a raised brow and his voice dropping suggestively, he adds, "I know you like those." Robin tips her head in concession, not even trying to deny it, and he smiles, amused. "We'll meet up here tomorrow night, separately, as if we've never seen each other before. I'll run a play of choice on you, and we'll see where the night takes us from there."

"I think we both know where the night will take us," she replies wryly.

"Ah, but we don't know _how_ it will get us there."

"True." And now her leg is wrapped around both of his. "Sometimes getting there _is_ the funniest part."

He cocks his head to the side, humming consideringly. "With anyone else I'd say yes. The thrill of the chase was definitely the appeal of womanizing. But with us 'there' is unquestionably the best part. The 'getting' is awesome but, you and I, 'there' – _tantric_ 'there', all night long – nothing can top that."

Robin raises her scotch to that, and Barney follows suit.

Just as their glasses are clinking together, Carl appears. Taking in Robin's contented smile, he grins. "Didn't I tell you it was hard to find? For three years I watched you, and you never did find it with anyone else."

"Cheers." She raises her glass to Carl this time, who nods.

Barney takes it all in with a bemused expression as Carl walks back to the other side of the bar to take a new drink order. "What's he talking about?"

"Something that happened three and a half years ago," Robin explains, "right before the summer we got together. Not long before I Mosbyed you. I wasn't ready to admit to love, or even use the word 'feelings'." She smiles slowly at this next admission. "But I knew I had the hots for you. That much I could cop to."

She shakes her head, laughing softly. She only remembers that night in bits and pieces, clouded under a haze of Glenn McKenna, but her little chat with Carl she still recalls quite well.

"It was late, just about closing time. The rest of you had all gone home, and I was about to stumble up to bed myself, but I'd had about three drinks too many and I started to get talkative….."

-*-*-*flashback*-*-*-

Robin stares down into the remnants of scotch just barely covering the bottom of her glass.

Carl had asked her what was wrong, why she stayed behind when all the others had left, why she looked so uncertain, so obviously upset about something. And like a dam bursting – no doubt from too much scotch welling up on the other side – it all comes blurting out.

"I just can't deal with this, you know. I don't know what to do. Tell me what I should do." She waves her hands a little too frankly and has to concentrate very hard on remaining upright on the stool.

Carl gives her a sardonic look. "I think you should go upstairs to bed."

"Go to bed." She laughs wearily. "That's an excellent idea…..It's all I think about," she lets slip. "But I can't. No matter how badly I want to….we – we can't go to bed together. No."

"Robin, I'm flattered but – "

"Not 'we', you and me," she says, making a face. "'We', me and _him_."

"Look, how about you make this easy on us both and just tell me what's wrong? Then we can all call it a night."

Robin sighs heavily. "The thing is…..I, maybe, might, kind of…_like_...Barney." Before Carl can react, she jumps back in. "_I know_," she laments, her eyes wide and her voice dripping with dismay. "I know it's bad. I just – I've always been attracted to him. I have." She allows herself that one last drink to fortify her after her difficult admission.

"Aww, that's really cute that you think that's news."

"What?" she asks in confusion. "You – you mean…" She waits for her fogged mind to catch up. "…You mean, you knew that already?"

Carl laughs. "For years you two have been coming in here, always sitting together, touching each other, laughing at his jokes. I'm a bartender. I know foreplay when I see it."

"But that's just attraction. Like a moth's attracted to a flame; doesn't mean I have to fly into it. But _this_," she says, staring into her now empty glass, looking utterly lost, "this is something more. It makes me feel warm and reckless. Something about him just stirs me, you know? Why does he have to be the one who stirs me? It's just – exhilarating, that's what it is," she slurs. "It feels heady and exciting and.…_different_ when I'm with him." She stops abruptly, her face distraught. "Oh my god, listen to me. I sound like Ted." She plunks her head down against the bar.

"Different good?"

Robin slowly lifts her head back up. "Huh?"

"You said you feel different when you're with him. Different good?"

"Different _great_," she sighs. "But this is _Barney_ we're talking about, and I….I know I can't go down that path with him. Right?"

Carl takes a deep breath and looks up from wiping down the bar. "I don't know what to tell ya, Robin. Barney _is_ Barney."

Robin nods, as if she expected such an answer all along. "Yeah, I know."

"But 'different great' is hard to find. It doesn't come along very often. Seems a shame to pass that by." He can see she's considering this, clearly torn over what to do.

Robin gets up to leave but hesitates, a sudden worried expression clouding her features. "You won't say anything?"

"Nah. Bartender's oath."

-*-*-*flashback*-*-*-

"Wow," Barney says, hearing the conclusion of her story. "Carl has earned a whole new level of respect." Robin nods her agreement. "I've just decided," he announces. "I won't let Marshall kill him to save mankind."

"That's big of you," she teases.

Barney laughs, reaching out and taking her into his arms. "Let's go home."

That's a complicated phrase seeing as they've yet to work out where exactly 'home' is. Right now they're living like vagabonds, a night at his place, then a night at hers. It usually depends on whose place they're closer to or what work event is coming up the next morning. MacLaren's has become a sort of middle ground.

Immediately realizing his faux pas, Barney clarifies, "I mean, let's go back to my place tonight." He leans in closer. "We'll hook up the swing and I'll show you 'different great'."

She laughs. "Alright."

Outside on the stairs, still laughing, he tugs her in close against his side. In response, she kisses along his jaw. He stops where he's standing, looking down at her with pure adoration. "God, that never gets old," he sighs.

"I hope not," she says, taking his arm as they walk up onto the sidewalk.

"Are we still on for tomorrow? You and me, back here, nine o'clock sharp, for the full Stinson package?"

Now Robin is the one to stop, turning to face him. "I'm not getting that tonight?" she asks suggestively.

Barney's voice deepens as he eases her hips to his. "Oh, you'll be getting it alright." Then he kisses her, and even though they're standing out on a public sidewalk where everyone going in and out of the bar walks past, his hands go wandering.

She breaks away from him suddenly, walking to the curb. "It's a twenty-three minute ride. Let's get going." He grins as she hurriedly reaches up to hail a passing cab. "And to answer your question…." She wraps her arms around his waist as the taxi pulls to a stop before them. "….Tomorrow night, you are so on."

His face lights up in an excited smile. "Role-play five!"

* * *

Robin hasn't seen Barney since they each left for work that morning. After finishing at WWN for the day, she'd had dinner with Lily and then the two of them had gone back to Marshall and Lily's apartment to help Robin get ready for tonight, something she and Barney planned to do separately in order to further the pretense.

The whole time while Robin was getting dress, Lily kept saying how she missed doing things like this with Marshall and how hard it's been to find time for romance and the two of them as a couple since the baby was born. As much as she loves her little godson, Robin felt sorry for Lily, so much so that she even went as far as to say that maybe sometime she and Barney could babysit to give Lily and Marshall a free evening together. Robin isn't quite sure how receptive Barney's going to be to that idea, but he loves the little boy too and it's only one night – and maybe Lily will forget now that the last brush of mascara and toss of the hair has been finished and she's out the door and on her way downstairs.

And that's how Robin ends up, at ten minutes after nine, walking into MacLaren's dressed to kill in the shortest, most fitted, low-cut dress she owns. As she makes her way to the empty stool at the far corner of the bar, her eyes scan the room and she smiles. She's drawing the attention of every man in the place, but the only one who counts has seen her too, and he's slowly approaching her now.

Barney's wearing a black suit with a white shirt he's left open at the collar in a way he knows she finds devastatingly attractive. And somehow he's arranged and perfectly timed it so that a glass of Johnny Walker – full and neat, just the way she likes it – is set before her at the very second he arrives at her side.

"You look like a woman who appreciates a fine scotch," he says by way of explanation.

She makes an approving little nod of her head, taking a sip of the drink before replying, "And you look like a man who knows what he wants."

"I always get what I want." He leans down against the bar, already encroaching on her personal space in a way she's got to admit she wouldn't find objectionable even if she didn't know him. "They teach us that at the agency."

A light of amusement dances in her eyes, and she bites back a smile. "Agency? So you're an agent?"

"Agent Stinson, CIA," he introduces himself. Then he waits, watching her expression carefully, wondering what response he'll get – if she'll go along with it or call him out on the obvious lie. He has a plan ready for either alternative.

In this moment of waiting for her reply, trying to anticipate her next move, he realizes how much fun this really is. Way more exciting than just generic womanizing. It's much more of a challenge when the woman actually has a brain in her head and can go toe-to-toe with him. And when the woman he's playing with is _Robin_, it's not just fun; it's one hell of a turn-on.

She allows her lips to form into an alluring smile, but her eyes still hold that twinkle of hidden mirth. "Robin Scherbatsky," she says, extending her hand.

He takes it, bringing it up to his mouth and kissing it, his lips warm and lingering. Then he brings her hand back down but still doesn't let go, his thumb rubbing enticingly over the soft skin on the back of her hand. "And tell me, what do you do Robin, other than drive men crazy at local bars?"

"I'm a journalist," she tells him, testing him by propping her elbow against the side of the bar and leaning forward in a way she knows reveals a generous amount of cleavage. Predictably, his eyes follow and linger, and she experiences a moment of inward laughter, wondering how any of those women over the years could have been dumb enough not to notice exactly what Barney was after.

"How interesting," he replies out of force of habit because he's still staring at her breasts. He knows this is all a game – and one he's enjoying – but she's magnificent and she smells fantastic, and he has half a mind to just drop the act now and get her into the back of a cab so they can fast-forward right to the best part. After all, they only recently got back together, and he hasn't seen her all day.

"Mm, not really interesting, no. I just do little fluff pieces. Old people, babies, monkeys...just things that wear diapers, you know?"

Robin shrugs and Barney grins. He remembers when he said that to her seven years ago. It was one of the first significant interactions the two of them ever had. They argued over the merits of her Metro News One job until he finally started paying her to do crazy stunts of his choice on the air. Watching her spank herself and honk her own boobs on live TV was the highlight of his year – until she fell into the horse poop. That was unbelievable and totally unplanned awesomeness.

He loved challenging her even back then. That's why _he_ remembers, but he's surprised to learn that she still does too. "Now who would ever say something like that?" he teases.

Her expression is deadpan. "Yes, who would?"

Barney laughs despite himself. "I'm sure your job is much more than that…..Hey!" he says after a pause, his eyes wide and his voice full of overblown surprise. "Haven't I seen you on World Wide News?"

His enthusiasm at their little game is infectious, and she can't help smiling, feeling a flood of anticipation for the rest of the night, as she readily plays along. "Yep, that's me. I'm an anchor for the network."

"See, no monkeys in diapers there. That's big-time, worldwide news – it's even in the title. Face it, you, Robin Scherbatsky, are an esteemed journalist."

She beams with pride, perhaps truly realizing it for the first time. "I am."

"Yes, you are," he smiles right along with her, still holding her hand in his. And for a space of time their game falters, slips a little, until it's just Barney being proud of Robin, proving to her what a success she is, how she really has achieved all she set out to.

"But, um," she continues, and he can see from the light of mischief in her eyes that the game is back on, "it hasn't been easy. It took me a long time to get here. It's been more than seven years since I moved to New York." Then she pauses, watching him carefully. "From _Canada_."

Her eyes dare him to make a joke. The whole game is 'Barney picks up Robin as if they've never met before', and they both know when trying to get a complete stranger to go home with him the last thing Barney ever would do is make fun of her right to her face. He'd agree with just about anything to get laid, or to win a challenge, and there's a little bit of both mixed up in what they're doing right now. Still, she doesn't think he will be able to help himself. She can see him struggling already to bite back the jokes. "I'm Canadian," she says, amping up the pressure, but he still reminds carefully silent. "A full-scale Hoser, eh." Because he's a formidable opponent, she's forced to break out the big guns. "Canada, the greatest country on the planet."

Barney looks almost ready to have some sort of epileptic fit, but at the last second he manages to hold it together. "It's a…..lovely….country," he chokes on the words, and Robin smirks in triumph. However, it doesn't last long. "But you did choose to move to _America_ so….."

Because he stops short of getting the bar chanting _USA! USA! _as per usual, she lets him have this one. "Speaking of which, you're with the CIA, hmm? That sounds like dangerous work."

He leans in closer. "Oh, it is." And then he launches into an epic, two-scotches-long tale of one of his missions that involves rescuing a baby from poisonous snakes, freeing a bus load of kidnapped children and puppies, and saving the world from total annihilation by bringing the vaguely foreign terrorists to justice and securing their nuclear weather machine safely into the hands of the U.S. government by seeing that it's locked up in isolation alongside the Arch of the Covenant in "that same warehouse from the Indiana Jones movies".

"_Wow_, that's…." The biggest pack of – completely outrageous and clearly ridiculous – lies she's ever heard. But instead she finishes, "….so _brave_. And all in one mission too," she adds, a trace of mocking creeping into her voice. "Almost hard to believe."

"And yet it happened – just like that." Barney eyes her, the corner of his mouth quirking up along with his eyebrow, as he waits to see if she'll call him out on the story.

He's honestly surprised when she doesn't, instead rubbing his bicep and cooing, "You are quite the hero. Tell me, Agent, what can a woman like me do to help?"

"I have something in mind you can do that would definitely help me."

She looks up at him, all wide eyes and long lashes. "Whatever it is, I'll do _anything_."

He smirks, not quite sure why she's playing right into his hand, but willing to reap the benefits nonetheless. "In this line of work, sometimes the pressure can really build up." He begins playing with her hand, stroking his finger in and out between hers suggestively. "A man needs a way to relieve all that tension."

"I'm sure I can help you with that." But as much fun as this is, and seemingly just getting to the good part too, Robin really has to use the bathroom. She blames his long-winded tale of heroism in combination with his persistence in keeping the alcohol flowing – and, hey, getting the random pick-up hammered is as logical a start as any. "Hold that thought?" she asks. "I know we'll come up with a way to burn off all that tension when I get back."

She throws a little extra sashay into her walk to MacLaren's ladies room, and ponders her next move all the way through. As she's touching up her makeup in the bathroom mirror, it comes to her to suggest working off the tension at the gun range just to see what he'll do. She giggles to herself at the thought, but the laughter dies in her throat when she walks back out the door and sees Barney, still leaning against the bar where she left him, only now a bleached-blonde with a skirt short enough to threaten indecent exposure laws and a see-through – _see-through_ – top is leaning beside him.

From this distance, Robin can't hear their conversation. She only sees the blonde toss her hair, stick out her boobs, and say something to Barney from between pouted lips. Robin watches him smile politely, tell Blondie something short in reply, and then Blondie nods and retreats back to her table of equally slutty friends in the back corner.

There's no sexy glide in Robin's walk this time, nothing but quick, determined steps – the game completely forgotten – as she strides back over to Barney. "Who was that woman?" she demands, turning from Barney to stare murderous daggers at the blonde in the corner.

Barney claps his hands in delight. "Ooh, I love jealous Robin. Are you gonna fight her? Add to your criminal record? _Please_ can I watch?"

She looks back at him, all of her anger – or most of it – diffused in the face of his clear amused relishing of her jealousy. "Shut up," she says, smiling despite herself as she sits back down on the stool.

"Too bad," he sighs. "That would have been the second woman you beat up for me. Scherbatsky, I'm honored. But lucky for her you won't have to." He rests his hand on the edge of her stool, just brushing her hip, and bends into her. "I'm immune to the charms of anyone but you."

Robin smiles. "Is that so?" His closeness reminds her of why they're here in the first place and not back at his apartment, making love right now, like they could be. "Alright, Agent Stinson. Tell me more about your work." Her fingers curl around the lapel of his suit jacket, pulling him closer to her. "It's fascinating."

"Well, I do have a license to thrill."

He regales her with another over-the-top, though entertaining, story of his life in the CIA, but now he's most definitely in her personal space, both having achieved intimate contact and staring at her as if she's the only one that matters in the world. He runs his complete gamut of moves on her, and she'll admit they would be working on her even if she wasn't in love with him already. Barney Stinson is a skilled pick-up artist; Robin will give him that.

"Another drink?" he offers in light of both their empty glasses.

But she shakes her head. "I've had enough."

"In that case, why don't we go back to my place for a little one-on-one time?"

"And that will help relieve your tension?"

Barney nods, running his fingers up and down her bare leg. "It'll help with yours, too." His eyes twinkle with a devilish light as he leans in and bends his lips to her ear, whispering the very same thing he told her all those years ago when they were trying to find the Bracket Girl and Robin was the bait and she'd asked him what he says to all those women to convince them to go home with him: "Give me five minutes, and I'll make you come harder than you ever have in your life. Give me all night, and you won't know what to do with yourself."

Robin immediately recognizes the words, and she bites her lip to suppress a grin. Still, even having heard it before, she's as turned on now and she was then. "Then it's lucky for us both, I'm yours all night."

Barney kisses her then, both because that's what he would have done to seal the deal with a one-night-stand and because he'd been waiting all night to feel her lips against his.

He's doing that incredible thing with his tongue that always takes Robin from zero to sixty in two seconds flat, and she's almost prepared to suggest they take this encounter out to MacLaren's back alley if need be, when he pulls away, promising to get them a cab. But first he excuses himself to the restroom before the twenty-three minute ride.

He's just finishing up when Ted comes through the men's room door. "Hey," Ted greets Barney in surprise. "I asked Robin if you were here but she said she didn't know anyone named Barney." Ted shoots him a stupefied look.

"Yeah," Barney grins. "It's this game we've got going. Sort of an intense role play. _Super hot_," he groans.

"I've got it. No details necessary," Ted rushes to assure him. Then his expression changes and he turns on his heel, starting to open the bathroom door.

"Bro," Barney calls out, stopping Ted. "Don't you gotta…..?" Barney nods back toward the urinals as he walks over to the sink.

"Nah, it can wait. I've got something else I need to do first."

"Ookay." Barney rolls his eyes, shaking his head at the closing door and hoping for Ted's sake that the 'something else' involves a hot girl.

When Barney comes back out, Robin's still perched on the end of the stool, long, bare legs crossed, looking sexy as hell, and it's all he can do to stop himself from running to her side. But he knows she's watching him, so he's relaxes into a slow, sexy, predatory stride.

"So," he says, soft and low, when he's standing before her, "back to my place?"

But she tilts her head in indecision. "I don't know."

Barney regards her in confusion. Game or no game, he knows Robin, and when he left her only a few minutes back she was practically ready to go right there in the bar.

"While you were in the bathroom a man came up to me to warn me – and I quote – 'never go with him to a second location'."

Barney scowls, suddenly catching on to Ted's little trick. "Tall, dark hair, way less attractive than me, with a sad sort of hang-dog air about him and the look of a man on a desperate search for "The One"?"

"Yep, that's him," Robin laughs.

* * *

After managing to convince Robin that the mysterious stranger was actually his jealous ex-partner, a disgruntled former member of the CIA who was kicked out due to his incompetence and "basic lameness", Barney got her to agree to come back to his place.

"So this is what a CIA man's apartment looks like." Robin walks through the door, looking around the room with a newly critical eye of a woman who has never seen the place before. "Interesting. All greys and blacks."

"I like to be stealthy. It's part of the job description."

"Ah, of course." She nods to the back corner and asks with barely concealed amusement, "And the stormtrooper?"

"It's an imperial guard. Watches over the place while I'm away," he explains matter-of-factly. "The suit is fully fitted with the latest surveillance equipment: cameras to capture every angle of the apartment. I never can be too careful about enemy spy infiltration."

There's a teasing gleam in her eye as she replies, "Hmm, is _that_ what it's fitted for?" They both know full-well she's referring to the time that Ted and Marshall interrupted them while using the suit for sexplay.

"It may have had its other uses from time to time," he smiles. "You want a drink?"

"Sure." She watches him go over to the bar and grab a bottle. "While you're fixing that, I'll just go freshen up and….make myself more comfortable," she tells him, surreptitiously patting her purse.

Ten minutes later, Robin emerges from the bathroom and Barney actually chokes on his drink. Still in her heels, she's wearing a babydoll nightie with a royal blue built-in bra and matching g-string and an attached sheer black lace overlay with an inverted V-cut slit up the middle from the bottom hem to the center of her chest, leaving a patch of skin bare and an easy opening for hands to glide underneath

A slow smile spreads across her face at his stunned silence. But his eyes follow her, looking her up and down and all over, as she comes to stand before him.

"That's – that's new, isn't it?" he stammers over his words, completely breaking character.

She grins. "I bought it this afternoon, just for tonight."

Barney shakes his head, his eyes drifting over her again. "I know how you look in every piece of lingerie you own – and out of it – and this is something I've definitely never seen."

"You can generally tell from the lack of bite marks."

"Oh, we'll get some in there before the night is through." He reaches for her, immediately slipping his hands beneath the lace to glide over her bare sides and around the small of her back, drawing her to him. "So you're going with 'get what you want and tell me I'm full of it in the morning'?"

Robin nods, laughing softly. "This is way too much fun to quit now."

Barney smiles down at her and can immediately see when they're back in the game. He's able to pinpoint the exact change in her expression as she slips back into character. Maybe it comes from years of putting on that professional journalist face, but she's quite the amazing actress.

She nestles in closer until she's completely pressed against him. "Is that a nightstick I feel in your front pocket?" Her voice is pure seduction as she asks, "Can I hold it?"

But rather than respond with further innuendo as she expects, Barney frowns. "I'm not a cop; I'm a CIA agent. So, it's a gun," he says, a trace of insult in his voice. Robin smiles, mouthing 'sorry', and he continues. "It's a gun, high-powered and fully loaded." She reaches down, her hands playing at the waistband of his pants. "Careful, it will go off if you touch it."

She smirks, slipping her fingers beneath both his pants and boxers anyway and feeling around to his hip. He grunts softly and her smirk widens. "No handcuffs?"

"I keep them in the bedroom," he promises enticingly. "And don't think I'm not onto you, Ms. Scherbatsky. I know who you are and why you were sent here." She looks at him in surprise because this is new. He was just supposed to be running a play on her to seduce her into sleeping with him. This is a sudden change in their role play, but one she's willing to accept if he'll only further clarify. "You're a Canadian spy working for the Russians."

Here they have one of those silent conversations that Marshall and Lily invented and wrongly think they own.

_The Russians? What is this 1983?_ Robin muses with an eyebrow raise.

Barney gives her a half-defeated, half-exasperated look. _Just, just, okay?_

And she relents, nodding.

Then they're back in.

"Maybe I am a spy. But what are you going to do about it, Agent Stinson?" she whispers, part challenge and part temptation.

"I'm gonna mount a full-scale search." He lets his hand glide down to cope a feel, softly groping her behind. "An all over pat-down. But first, an oral exam."

He bends down to kiss her and the moment their lips touch it's like sparking a match to explosives – instant, out of control flames. But it's also still a game, a competitive seduction, and they're playing at one-upmanship even in this. Barney repeats the tongue trick from back at the bar and Robin softly sighs – then promptly takes his lower lip between her teeth, worrying it gently and reveling in his accompanying guttural moan. And the game continues all the way into the bedroom. He touches her here; she touches him there, until they're both panting.

"You _are_ a spy," he insists, using his teeth to untie the bow at her cleavage, running his tongue over her skin in the process simply because he's in proximity and can't resist.

"Agent Stinson, I swear I'm innocent," she maintains, even as her hands unfasten his belt.

He stops and looks her over. She's nearly naked, with the front of the nightie pulled down far enough on one side that her left nipple is all but exposed. "You don't look very innocent. You look like you've been bad, so bad I'm going to have to restrain you."

Her kisses her as a distraction, presses her down onto the bed, and she goes willingly, her fingers fisted in his hair. Then his lips glide down to her neck, biting and sucking at the tender, receptive skin. His fingers trailing up her inner thigh and teasing along the edge of her panties have her preoccupied enough that she barely even notices his free hand collecting her wrists above her head until she hears the click of the handcuffs securing her to the bed.

"I win," he says. She narrows her eyes, but a smile is playing across her lips. "But I think we both win, because now I'm gonna do a thorough exam. I can't be sure what you're hiding under that negligee." He runs his hand along the lace. "I'll need to perform a complete strip down, a meticulous body cavity search, feeling over every last inch of you."

She gazes up at him with such a burning intensity, he can practically see the anticipation roll off her in waves. There's only room for two thoughts in his lust-heavy brain – god, he loves this woman, and this is going to be _awesome_.

He shifts back off the mattress to retrieve the box hidden within his bedside closet, and Robin watches as he takes out each object, arranging all manner of toys and paraphernalia on the nightstand beside her. "Barney?" she says. At the break in character he looks down at her questioningly. She motions for him to close closer, so he leans down over her. "Uncuff me before we get to the really good stuff, okay?" she requests. "You know I like to touch you."

Barney smiles softly and tips his head in agreement. "We're still using flugelhorn?"

She beams up at him and nods, pleased and impressed that he's remembered their old safe word. She pushes up and rewards him with a hungry kiss just from Robin to Barney. Then she's back in, and it's Canadian Spy Scherbatsky and CIA Agent Stinson. "Do your worst," she declares dramatically, if with a trace of breathlessness. "You won't get me to talk. You won't affect me at all. I won't so much as make a peep."

He grins. "Challenge accepted."

* * *

**AN**: I'm going to _try_ to get out two more chapters before the show starts up again and I go back to "Catching the Clock". It was just going to be one long chapter, but I think it will flow better if I break it up into two parts. So as a preview for next chapter, Barney and Robin get into a little trouble and find it necessary to address the issue of their living arrangements, and the next chapter after that Robin and Barney babysit Marvin and discuss parenthood.


	4. The Honeymoon Phase

**The Honeymoon Phase**

Since the early fall, since it was time for Lily to return to her teaching job, Marshall and Lily have had a nanny, but only for the daytime hours, to facilitate their careers. The nanny leaves as soon as Lily gets home from school, which means they still need to find a babysitter if they ever want to go out at night. Tonight is happily one of those times they've been able to do so.

They plan to leave Marvin with his grandpa, much to Mickey's delight. However, Lily knows her dad too well and her trust levels toward him are still tenuous enough that she doesn't dare go too far away. So the group has resolved to spend the evening at MacLaren's, all five of them together in their booth like old times.

Barney and Robin are the first to arrive and directly claim their usual, still-empty spot. "This should be fun," Robin asserts as they slide into the far side of the booth, facing the bar, so they can see when the others come in.

"Yeah, it's been too long since we could all hang out at MacLaren's together for more than an hour." He makes himself comfortable, stretching his arm out across her shoulders over the back of the booth.

Robin takes advantage of their new closeness to lean over and press her nose into Barney's neck, breathing him in. "You smell incredible tonight. I've wanted to do that ever since you picked me up at work, but I thought it would ruin the whole professional newswoman thing I've got going if I jumped you in the lobby."

"Feel free to jump me anytime."

"Believe me, I wanted to. I had to leave so early this morning to tape my special report, we didn't even have time for a little somethin'-somethin' before work like we usually do."

"I know," he replies, his voice registering the loss.

"It threw off my entire day. I think you've become like caffeine for me; I need a shot of Barney to get going in the morning or I can't seem to concentrate at all." She turns further toward him and sets her hand to his chest, her fingers skimming down his tie. "I wanted to come meet you at GNB for 'lunch' like we used to, but I knew you had that important meeting. You left me in quite a predicament," she frowns. "You completely ruined my productivity. It got so bad I spent the whole afternoon just thinking about your hands on me. Imagining your fingers…" She trails off, noting the full booth behind them, well within overhearing distance. With a naughty smile, she bends her lips to his ear to whisper in vivid detail just want she imagined his fingers doing.

Marshall and Lily's arrival interrupts them before Robin can get to the climax of her story, but Barney more than gets the gist of it.

"Hey, guys," Marshall greets them, edging into the booth beside Lily.

"Hey," Barney answers, distracted, as Robin straightens back up to her side of the booth, taking her time about it. He clears his throat. "I'm just – I'm gonna…go grab us a round. Of drinks. Yeah."

Robin shoots him an odd look as he shoves out of the booth, but then she figures she's probably just short-circuited his brain with all her graphic dirty talk and he simply needs some time and space to recover.

Marshall and Lily don't seem to pay him much mind either. "I've got to say, baby," Marshall confesses somewhat guilty, "it does feel good to be out together again, just the two of us, sharing beers with the gang."

"I know, baby. It's okay. It doesn't mean we don't love our son," Lily reassures him. "I miss going out like we used to, too. I'm just glad we can _all_ be here tonight, and Barney and Robin," she says, looking pointedly at the woman in question, "didn't skip out on us again, like they did on our tapas night last week."

"Uh, that wasn't even real," Robin contends. "You only wanted us there to help put together Marvin's new play yard after Marshall couldn't figure it out on his own."

Lily pats her husband's arm consolingly. "Okay, maybe that was part of it."

"But there _were_ tapas," Marshall interjects.

"And what about my Van Alen Fest the weekend before that," Ted chimes in, pulling up a chair and taking his now customary spot on the end.

"Oh, come on, Ted. You know that was just an excuse to look smart and important for all your little architecture friends," Robin argues. "I don't know why you even asked us to come. Anyone not obsessed with a bunch of dead guys who built some stuff would have tried to get out of that one."

"Sorry, Ted," Lily agrees. "I've gotta side with Robin on that."

Marshall nods. "I love you buddy, but that night was a waste of a babysitter."

"Hey! It was catered with an open bar, what more do you want?" Marshall just shrugs apologetically. At Robin's continued triumphant smile, Ted turns to her. "But at least these two showed up."

Robin shifts in her seat, running a hand through her hair as she answers defensively, "Barney had a really important work thing he had to go to, and I came down with a sudden cold. And it's not like we just stood you up. We explained it all when we called you that night."

Ted laughs. "You guys were clearly in bed together when you made those calls."

Robin scoffs. "You don't…know that."

"Robin, I could hear heavy breathing and mattress springs in the background."

"Fine, we're sorry," she sighs.

"You're really not." Lily shakes her head, smiling. "I wish me and Marshall had thought to do the same thing."

"Okay, that's it," Ted informs them in exasperation. "None of you are getting invited to Renwick Palooza next month."

Marshall turns to Lily. "Yeah, I'm sure Barney will cry over that loss."

"Speaking of Barney," Ted says, ignoring the laughter of all three, "where is he?"

Robin looks around the bar. "I honestly don't know."

"He said he was going to get us a round, but that was a while ago," Marshall supplies.

"Maybe he had to use the bathroom," Lily suggests.

They all accept that explanation and the conversation continues until suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, Robin catches movement near the far wall. Glancing over curiously, she can't believe what she's seeing. There is Barney, peeking out from within the mysterious door they now all know does _not_ lead to some magical world within. The door is only open a crack, and luckily no one notices but Robin as Barney peers out, beckoning her to come over.

Quite reasonably, she wonders what her boyfriend is doing hiding in MacLaren's storage closet. "I – I just – I'm – " The whole gang turns to look at her as she trips over her words. "I guess since Barney hasn't come back yet, _I'll_ go get us a round. It's time to get the booze going."

"True that," Lily seconds.

Robin uses Ted's presence at the outside of the booth to exit on the opposite side nearest the wall. She silently thanks her little godson that no one pays any mind to the odd change of habit since they're far too engrossed in Marshall's tale of Marvin's antics with his My First Blocks Set that Uncle Ted bought him – which from what Robin hears mostly just seemed to include holding and chewing one, but Ted's thrilled all the same.

They're all so preoccupied, none of them sees when Robin tiptoes towards the closet. Or when she precedes to get unceremoniously tugged inside.

"Oh my god, Barney," Robin whispers to him, shoving aside the dust mop handle that feels like it's permanently lodged in her spine. "What is going on? What are we doing in here?"

"Shh, don't get all excited," he tells her.

"Don't get excited? Barney, I can't see a thing. What is the matter? Why are we hiding in a closet?"

"Just – here." She hears some fumbling and rustling and then the closet lights up with the glow of his iPhone's flashlight app. "Better?" he asks.

"Yeah, I guess. But I repeat: why are we in here?"

Barney sets his phone down on the shelf, leaving their faces clouded in shadow but the closet still filled with a glowing light, as he reaches for her, his hands circling her waist and drawing her to him. "I thought, since you couldn't stop imagining my fingers and all they can do, I'd help you out with that," he tells her, said fingers playing at the edge of her blouse to find the warm skin beneath.

"You want to have sex in this closet?"

"Robin, you can't tell me a fantasy like that and then think I'm gonna wait all night to reenact it," he replies, his lips already on her neck.

"This is crazy," she says, but her arms twine around him and her fingers push up into his hair.

"Crazy hot," he corrects, looking at her determinedly.

Robin's hands skim down to his waist. "You really want this, huh?"

He nods like a little boy asking for his ice cream before dinner. When she smiles, his fingers instantly go to the buttons of her shirt, releasing them all in under ten seconds.

"We'll have to be quiet," she says in a breathy whisper as he peels away the open sides of her shirt, his mouth kissing a trail down her throat. "They're right outside. If we're not careful they'll hear us."

Barney pauses to grin up at her. "You love this, don't you?"

"Maybe," she says evenly. He presses her body against the wall with his own, bending back down to lick a path across the swell of her breast. When he sucks her skin into his mouth, she sighs, "Okay, yes."

He snickers, but she only tugs at his belt in reply. "Just touch me." And when he obliges she moans.

"Shh," he whispers, as he gathers her skirt up to her waist. "They'll hear, remember?" Then he moves his mouth over hers to help her out.

* * *

Robin is the first to slip out, quickly rushing over to the bar as if she's been standing there the entire time. Barney joins her a minute later. Then they nonchalantly walk back over to the table, carrying drinks for everyone, only to find they already have some.

"What happened to you guys?"

"We were getting a round," Barney says as if Marshall is losing it.

Ted holds up his nearly-full beer in reply, indicating they got tired of waiting and already got one themselves.

"What? None for us?" Robin asks. "I guess we'll just keep these for ourselves then," she tells them, setting the beers down on the table.

"Robin," Lily smirks, "your skirt is sideways."

Marshall looks at her, frowning contemplatively. "And your shirt is buttoned wrong."

Robin's hands skim over her blouse, checking to see if anything is exposed, just as Ted deadpans, "Barney, your fly is still down."

Barney turns around and zips up his pants before joining Robin, who's already scooted into their side of the booth.

"You're having sex in the ladies room now?" Ted asks.

"Technically it was in the closet," Robin corrects him.

"Although we _have_ done it in the ladies room," Barney claries. "Those walls have seen some things," he adds, to which Robin nods and the others groan at him. "This time was Robin's fault," he insists. "She started it by whispering inappropriateness to me."

"No, I get it," Marshall knowingly allows. "This is still new to you."

Lily bobs her head in agreement. "It's like me and Marshall after I came back from San Francisco. You guys are in the honeymoon phase all over again, where you can't keep your hands off each other and you're having sex everywhere, all the time. Enjoy it while it lasts."

"Pssh. Please. This is no phase, Lily," Barney contends. "When have you _ever_ known us to be able to keep our hands off each other?"

"Hmm, fair enough."

"Exactly. That's why this is no 'honeymoon phase'. Robin and I will still be doing it in ladies rooms when we're ninety."

And they seal the agreement with an impromptu high five.

* * *

It's a fairly routine Wednesday night. Ted is busy, and Marshall and Lily are at home with the baby, so it's just Barney and Robin stopping into MacLaren's for drinks after dinner. But on a weeknight the bar isn't too lively, and without the rest of the gang there it's not as much fun anyway. After they've each finished their scotch, they both really just want to call it a night, even if it is early yet, but that means having the inevitable and always slightly awkward conversation of just where exactly they're going to call it a night. They both studiously avoid making any suggestions if they can help it because neither one wants to mention their own place too often and make it seem like they're pushing the one out of their territory and into the other's. But MacLaren's really is dead, and they have to go _somewhere_.

And that's how they end up upstairs at Marshall and Lily's apartment unannounced, joining in on watching _Survivor_ with the couple. It's actually not a bad way to spend the evening, until halfway through Lily pauses the program because Marvin completely blew out his diaper and it's apparently bad enough that the kid needs a head to toe bath – though neither Robin nor Barney are willing to go in there to see for themselves. Then the bath itself becomes a two-person job, requiring Marshall as well. Consequently, Barney and Robin are left sitting on the couch alone, staring at a frozen TV screen.

Barney twists on the cushion to face Robin. "So…this is boring."

"Yep," she nods. Then her eyes brighten with an idea. "Hey, let's go up on the roof."

Barney grins. "Okay." He's already halfway out the window, but Robin hesitates near the kitchen.

"You go ahead. I'll be right there," she informs him.

Fortunately, it's been a very mild start to winter thus far – in fact, unseasonably so. Though it's almost mid-December, the city has been experiencing record highs the past two days, meaning for a Canadian like Robin, he can't even get her to wear a jacket outside. Barney shakes his head fondly, thinking that for once her Canadian-ness has come in handy, as it leads to one less layer between him and her curves.

He's arranging the single remaining lawn chair just so to provide the right ambience when Robin appears over the roof's edge, her free arm full. She then proceeds to walk to the far corner, lining up her armload of beer bottles on the rooftop ledge.

"What're you doing?" Barney asks her, confused.

"Shooting empties off the side of the roof," she says, removing her purse from around her neck and fishing out the handgun inside before depositing it at her feet. She doesn't have access to the rooftop at her building, and the gun range is all the way out in Brooklyn. She misses the ease of being able to simply pop out the window for a little target practice. "What did you think we were doing up here?"

Barney looks down sheepishly. "You know, 'going up on the roof'," he explains using air quotes, "like Marshall and Lily used to do, like Ted tried to do, like everyone would take turns doing at parties. Gettin' it _up_ on the roof," he imparts, emphasizing the word 'up'.

Robin rolls her eyes and lifts her gun, aiming and pulling the trigger, completely annihilating the first bottle.

"Come on, Robin," Barney reasons with her. "Remember how we got yelled at last time? The neighbors complain and then we have to deal with Angry Lily – and Angry Lily is no fun. An Angry Lily lecture is almost as bad as a Ted lecture."

Robin pulls the trigger again, sending the second bottle to meet its fallen brother. "Yeah, but she's a little preoccupied at the moment thanks to Marvin's total lack of bowel control." She's taking aim at the third bottle, when Barney's next words stop her.

"Maybe _I'll_ tell Lily," he suggests, and there's something of a challenge in his voice that awakens her in a way that only he can.

"Oh, no, you won't," she counters, challenging him right back.

"You sure?" And he steps closer, his eyes locked on hers.

"You said you lived for the dance. So what's it gonna be, Stinson? Shall we dance?"

Barney continues to approach Robin, despite the loaded gun in her hand, stopping mere inches away from her. "Alright, I'm game. What's to stop me from going to tell Lily? What are you going to do about it, Scherbatsky?" This time the taunting challenge of it is more than crystal clear.

She stares him down right back, her heart pounding, loving every minute of it. All these years later, she still gets a little thrill sparing with him. "Maybe I'll cut off sex."

He openly chuckles at what is clearly an idle threat; she starts it almost as much as he does. "You can try," he says, cocky and full of swagger – and just looking at him she already knows it's a bet she'll lose.

Robin turns from him and, without hardly looking, fires off a shot that shatters the third bottle to pieces. "How bout you join me instead, show me what you got?" With a goading tilt of the head, she offers him the gun.

Barney eyes her, unrelenting, as he takes it from her. He aims and squeezes off a round that, though not as precise as her marksmanship, does manage to hit the bottle, knocking it off the roof.

Without a word, only a silently raised eyebrow, he hands the gun back to her, then outstretches his arms with a smug, teasing look. "Ohhh! Who's the hotshot now?"

On him, all that posturing, male bravado looks good – it always has – but she's determined not to let him know how much of a turn-on she finds it. And she certainly can't let him win at this of all things. She brings the gun back up and is about to destroy the final bottle, when they hear shouting from across the way.

"Hey!"

Barney and Robin look at each other, then slowly walk to the opposite edge of the roof in the direction of all the yelling. From the building across the street, the same building they once all proved they could leap to, there's a man standing out on his fire escape, shouting over to them. Or, more precisely, to her.

"Hey, bitch, this ain't no gun range. You want something to keep you busy?" He looks her over in a decidedly sleazy way. "Come on over here and lift that shirt, I got something you can handle." And he mimes just that. "Otherwise go back inside and shut the hell up!"

Robin is justifiably outraged and is about to give this jerk a piece of her mind when Barney beats her too it. In fact, she doesn't think she's ever seen him this angry. He unleashes a string of profanity so harsh even a sailor would blush, and then culminates the diatribe by grabbing Robin's gun back from her and pointing it directly at the guy's genitals. The man wisely makes a run for it back through his open window, slamming it shut and pulling down the shade.

Robin turns to Barney, her eyes wide and her face bathed in shock. "_Barney_," she gasps, stunned. "I've never seen you like that." She gazes at him – his expression still intense, the gun still in his hand – and it sparks something primal and uncontrollable in her. "God, you _are_ a badass," she breathes. Before he can respond, she lunges at him, kissing him fiercely.

Robin's pressing her body against him, her tongue in his mouth, teasing his, and it only takes a second for Barney to respond in kind. "We should've – " he manages between kisses. "We should've started this is the – mmm – back in the apartment. Forget _Survivor_, we could've been on Intercourse Island already."

"Maybe. And maybe I'm not so easy." But the way her fingers are massaging the nape of his neck as she kisses him senseless suggests otherwise.

"No, you're not easy," he agrees. "But you melt for me." He runs his hand up her inner thigh to prove the point.

She draws an audible, harsh intake of breath at the movement of his fingers against her skin. "Yeah, but you melt for me too." She slides her hand over his chest, her open mouth tracing his neck, biting softly, as her hand continues down.

He makes a gruff, masculine sound that only makes her want him more. "I don't melt for you," he argues. "You, Robin, have just the opposite effect, as you can plainly feel."

When she does just that, he goes still a moment, then his hands are on her rear end, lifting her. Her legs go immediately around his waist, and he carries her into the little alcove behind the venting, pining her up against the brick wall.

"I thought you were cutting off sex," he whispers against her throat.

"I didn't try very hard." Her lips catch his again until it's too much and yet not nearly enough. "I want you. _Now_. Inside me now, Barney," she pants.

And in less than thirty-seconds he obliges.

* * *

Afterwards, Barney flips their positions so his back is against the wall, just in time too, as his knees give out and he slides them both down to rest on the rooftop. He's clothed from the waist up, but his pants are still around his ankles as Robin sits snugly on his bare thighs.

"Barney," she murmurs, "you defended me."

"Of course I did," he answers, as if it's the silliest thing in the world that he'd do anything else.

"You would've fought that guy."

"If I had to."

She leans in and kisses him once, then twice, until a sudden thought occurs to her. "Barney, where's my gun?"

Things had gotten so hot and heavy so fast, he honestly has no idea. His only thought was for the two of them coming together as quickly as possible. "I don't know," he admits, bemused

Robin laughs, setting her forehead to his. "I've missed this."

"Oh, I know," is his gruff reply.

"Not just the sex – although, yes, that is fantastic – I mean being this way, free and easy and…._fun_ with you. That's what I missed the most this past year," she tells him.

Barney nods, his expression genuine as he moves his hands up to cup her face. "Me too," he agrees, his thumb running tenderly over her cheek. "But, really, this was less free and easy and fun, and more hot and wild and dirty."

Robin lifts her head to study him. "Do you think what Lily said is true? Are we in a 'honeymoon phase'?"

He thinks about it a moment before answering her. "I don't know. I don't _think_ so. Will we one day be able to make it through a night at Marshall and Lily's without going up on the roof to have sex? Probably. But that doesn't mean I'll love you any less."

She smiles at that, wrapping her arms around him and snuggling in closer. "Or that I'll want you any less just because I've learned to contain myself till we get home."

He laughs softly, tucking a strand of her behind her ear and away from her eyes. "Seriously, Robin, I'm not sure we're ever going to learn how to do that, even after time goes by. Look at us before. We were together all summer and then some, but more than six months in – long after any 'honeymoon phase' – that still hadn't stopped. We still were having sex in so many crazy places we were even keeping a tally."

"We got up to ninety-six and a half beds," she says, kissing him sweetly. "It's the kind of chemistry that just doesn't go away."

Barney smiles, leaning in for another kiss, but then a noise on the ladder stops him. "Lily's coming," he mouths, panic in his eyes, because even now he's still half afraid of that woman, especially when she's angry.

"You fix yourself up," Robin whispers. "I'll go."

But it's actually Marshall's voice they hear next. "Are you finished?" he asks, shielding his eyes. "I don't want to see _anything_."

Robin starts to get up, but Barney pulls her back. "Wait." He reaches down to her chest, adjusting the top of her dress where one of her breasts is still partially exposed. "Those are just for the B-man now," he winks at her.

She grins, lifting herself off his lap with still-shaky legs, her skirt falling easily down into place. "It's okay, Marshall. You can open your eyes," she says, walking out from behind their alcove to see him standing near the roof's edge, still blocking his vision.

He drops his hand, telling her in frustration, "Lily made me come out here – she's still trying to get Marvin to bed – but I didn't want to walk in on anything while it was still in-progress."

"What makes you think there was anything to walk in on? We were just shooting empties," she lies nonchalantly, looking around the rooftop for her missing gun.

"Oh, please. I'm not an idiot. You guys can't keep doing this. You've got to take it home. Just man up and figure out where that is. We're getting too many complaints from our neighbors – first about the shooting and now someone saw you two going at it."

"They couldn't just sit back and enjoy the show?" Barney asks, reemerging from behind the alcove, looking impeccable as always.

"You're gonna get us kicked out of the apartment if you keep this up. You could have at least used our bedroom. That would have been gross but it wouldn't have violated public lewdness laws," Marshall says in a huff, disappearing back down the ladder toward the apartment.

Robin frowns over to Barney. "I think they're really mad this time."

"Yeah." Barney is quiet a minute, then he takes a deep breath. "Maybe…maybe Marshall's right. Maybe it would help if we did have a home…together." Robin's eyes shoot to his questioningly, and he hurries to explain. "I know it hasn't even been a month yet, but we've spent every single night together anyway, whether it was at my place or yours. We might as well be living together now."

"I know."

"You do?" he asks, relief clear in his voice.

"Well, it would make things a lot easier and….. even better if we were living together officially. I – I wanted to say so before but….I was hoping you'd bring it up first," she admits.

"You could have said something." He reaches for her hand. "Robin, you can tell me anything. It's hard, I know." And he winks to ease the moment. "But when we're feeling something we have to tell each other. We can't go back to just keeping it all inside. Look what that did to us before."

"I know," Robin nods. "You're right. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Just come live with me, like we both want." He kisses her gently, lovingly, but breaks away when he realizes how that might sound. "Not that it _has_ to be with me. I just thought that would be easier since I own my place and you're still renting yours, but if you don't want to live there – "

"No, it's okay. Your place does make the most sense. But, you know," she tells him, setting her palm to his cheek, "I _am_ bringing more than just my mugs."

"Bring anything you want," Barney laughs happily. "Just bring yourself."

Robin shuffles in closer to kiss him, and as she does so her toe hits something on the floor. She looks down at the object skittering to a stop a few inches away. "Oh, my gun! There it is," she exclaims excitedly.

* * *

After three years apart, Barney doesn't want to waste a second more of time. First thing the next morning, he calls his Moving Guy. By the following night, Robin's stuff is mingling with his and the apartment is officially 'theirs'.

"Welcome home," he says to her as he shuts the door on the last of the movers, finally leaving them alone together. "What do you think of it?"

"They've got a few things in the wrong places, but we'll fix it." She crosses the room to him, running her hand up his arm to his shoulder. "Thank you for making room for me, Barney. I know how important your things are to you."

"_You _are important to me. I want this to be _our_ place, not just my place where you happen to live."

Robin smiles at him until eventually they look away from each other to glance around the room, judgingly.

"The Stormtrooper," Barney suddenly remembers, a tension in his voice. "….It can go."

She shakes her head. "No, it stays. I was wrong."

"Robin, it's alright. We don't have to have a Stormtrooper in our living room. We can move it."

"No, it's perfect. It's you. I wouldn't want it anyplace else. Believe me, in every possible scenario, I've imagined it with us in the future."

"Okay," he says, giving her a strange look. "….But I know from before, you'll definitely want to get rid of the porn." Robin had helped him box up his impressive collection and put it into storage when he was dating Nora, but after the breakup it had come back out, perhaps not in its full glory but still enough to fill the shelves.

Robin frowns. This had been a big issue of contention with them back when they were dating the first time. On the one hand, she feels like if Barney would sweep it all away for Nora than he should certainly do the same for her too. But on the other hand, she doesn't want to completely stifle him. She still enjoys Barney being Barney. She fell in love with exactly who he is, and she wasn't nearly as fond of the subdued, restrained version of himself he presented when he was dating Nora. Sure, she likes a little romance, and flowers now and then are nice, but she doesn't want or need public serenades. She doesn't want Barney to be _that_ person; it isn't real and it isn't him.

"How about if you scale back?" she offers in compromise. "I could go through them and pick my favorites that we can watch together."

Barney looks at her in awe. "And _that's_ why you're the most awesome woman I've ever known." Robin shrugs, smiling. "What about when I'm alone?" he asks, still looking for a catch somewhere and thinking he's probably just found it.

Robin sighs heavily. "Barney, I really don't want you sitting here alone, fantasizing about being with some other woman. It's the same issue I have with strip clubs. I know you used to say it's innocent because you're not doing anything, but sometimes wanting to do it is almost just as bad."

He digests this new information thoughtfully. He never really saw it that way before, that his imaginary fantasies could actually be painful to her. He still doesn't agree that merely having lustful thoughts about someone else, especially a random stripper or porn star, can even be classified in the same ballpark as actual cheating. But then he has to admit that it would deeply bother him to think of Robin picturing having sex with some other guy.

"I guess I get that," he tells her finally. "But watching it when you're alone is pretty much the point of porn, or else you wouldn't need it."

She considers this and can see where he's coming from. Still, it doesn't make her like the idea of it any more. But then another thought occurs to her. "We'll make our own for you."

Barney's eyes go wide. "You've lifted the videotaping ban?"

"I was never against it, per se. I just didn't want you critiquing the playback like our lovemaking was some stupid football game. And I have to know about," she adds, firmly.

"Agreed."

"But otherwise," she says, her fingers playing with the end of his tie and her voice going soft and low, "it's kinda hot. The thought of you here alone while I'm away, getting off to tapes of the two of us."

"Yeah?" Barney grins. "You like that?"

Robin nods, setting her hands against his chest. "I do."

He tilts his head to the side. "Then…I guess I can tell you now."

She looks at him questioningly. He's wearing that Guilty Barney expression, which is never a good sign. "Tell me what?" she asks warily.

"I still have a few DVDs of us packed away from before." Before she can react to that, he rushes forward with the full confession. "And….and one from the night we were together last year. I really wasn't kidding about there being a tape of us doing it," he ruefully admits.

Robin shakes her head, trying to wrap her mind around this. "But how? That night wasn't even remotely planned."

Barney blows out a heavy breath before launching into the whole shameful story. "I was still with Nora then, and our sex life wasn't exactly amazing. We only slept together twice. I never unhooked the motion-activated cameras in my bedroom. I thought it might spice things up, at least for me. But then the cameras captured us." He pauses, looking away. "I knew what I _should_ have done with it but, after you stayed with Kevin, I thought I'd lost you for good. It was the last piece of you I had left. I couldn't erase it. I used to watch it," he reveals, digging himself deeper, but it's full disclosure time; that was their rule. "I knew it was sick and destructive and just not good for me at all – and probably some kind of violation to you – but I…I couldn't help myself. It was _us_, and I needed you back with me so badly. I yearned for you, Robin; I couldn't stop it, I couldn't shut it off." He dares to glance over at her but her expression is giving nothing away. Even so, he presses on through the rest. He might as well get in trouble for it all at once. "There were even a few times I watched it when I was still with Quinn. She was gone almost every night, so I was always on my own. You and I were barely speaking in those months. I missed you so much….and a few nights I dug out that recording. I watched us together and I imagined being with you, tried to relive it all over again."

Robin kisses him suddenly, and it takes several shocked moments before he can even think to return it. "You're not mad?" he asks, when she finally pulls away.

She shakes her head softly. "No, not really. I mean, I guess it's kind of messed up, but it actually makes me feel weirdly good to know you were longing for me as much as I was longing for you, even when you were with someone else."

She kisses him again, and this time he wholeheartedly gets in on the action.

"But these new tapes of us will be better," she promises. "We can even throw in a little plot, like we did with our role-play last week."

"Yeah, that would've made _great_ porn."

Robin smirks. "Okay. So it'll be the return of Agent Stinson." A thought occurs to her and she gasps. "Maybe you could dress up as a hockey player."

Barney tips his head in concession that he'd be willing to do that. "What about you? Do you still have the sexy nurse costume from that ridiculous commercial you made? The one that zips all the way down the front?"

"Mm-hmm. Did you keep the Canadian Mountie outfit?"

"I _knew_ that was a crazy sex thing!" Then he realizes, "I really should have just worn it." Robin nods and he laughs, wrapping his arms around her and bringing her in close. "Hmm, you could dress up like a school girl – Oooh, Oooh!" And now he's jumping up and down with excitement. "Robin Sparkles! You can finally do a Robin Sparkles porn – and _I_ can co-star in it." He's visibly thrilled at the notion.

"Oh, you're gonna have to _really_ work to get me to agree to that."

"I have my ways," he says boastfully, pressing her closer into him. "Let's just say I know how to get you to the mall – by going straight downtown." Grinning widely, Barney lifts his fist for a bump.

Robin can't help smiling back. "_Yeah_, you do," she admits, giving his fist the respect it deserves by bumping it back. She gets a devilish snigger and nod in reply. "But just so you know, all of our little homemade films will be strictly two-way; I no longer do performances of "Two Beavers are Better than One"."

Barney's face breaks out into a beaming smile. "Oh, what up! I-finally-got-you-to-admit-that-song-was-dirty five!" When she breaks down and gives it to him, he laughs proudly, pressing a kiss to her lips. "Mmm, do you wanna go do it in _our_ bedroom?"

"Hell yeah."

Barney grabs her hand and they start toward the bedroom, but he pauses at the hallway, nodding back towards the kitchen. "Bring the maple syrup."

She stops, staring at him curiously. "Old King Clancy?" she whispers.

"Robin, I'm about to show you how it's really done."

She bites her lip, following eagerly after him.

* * *

**AN**: I have one more guaranteed chapter after this (but a whole lot of ideas I'm saving for later), where Barney and Robin will be babysitting Marvin, and it will touch a lot on her infertility and the events of 7.12. After that, Season 8 will be starting back up and I'll be returning to "Catching the Clock". So this next one may be the final future-set chapter before I merge it together with the format of "Catching the Clock" and return to doing a chapter for each episode. It all depends on how soon B/R get back together. Once they do, I'm going to close out "Catching The Clock" and continue on "The Season of Us" but each chapter will be in real time, the same as the episode that just aired.


End file.
